Page 45 of Xantera
Three hours after curfew, I’m wearing the necklace again, but now it’s tucked within the collar of my cloak so that the vial fits snugly between my breasts.
I crack open my bedroom door to find that Malcolm is still in bed. We had dinner together after he came home from the Rec Center, and then we both went into our joint bedroom, where we laid side by side and stared at the ceiling as if there were stars plastered above our heads. Thankfully, there was no reason for either of us to put on quite as big of a show as last week because there was no sentry sitting in our living room. As long as the camera recorded us going into that bedroom together, whoever was watching would think we were obedient.
Still, it was nice to just lie there without forcing anything. The silence between us almost felt… comfortable. I ended up staying for almost an hour before Malcolm’s even breathing broke into those horrible, guttural snores of his, and I tiptoed back to my own room.
Now, our housing unit is quiet and dark, save for a sliver of moonlight spilling through the window—and the blinking camera above the loudspeaker, of course.
Remember,Lucan warns me.Nice and slow.
I nod like he can see me and slip out of my room, crouching down and keeping myself pressed against the wall without daring to exhale. The camera is angled in such a way that if I move beneath the screen, I don’t think it’ll be possible for anyone to see me leave the house after curfew: a sliver of a blind spot as thin as the moonlight at my feet.
One foot in front of the other, I move at an achingly slow pace, half squatting so that my head stays low enough. My thigh muscles burn by the time I’m halfway across the kitchen, not used to the angle at which I’m forcing them to move, but I don’t relent. I don’t straighten. I—
My foot steps down, and the floorcreaksbeneath me. I freeze.
Malcolm gives an extra loud snore that rumbles through our bedroom door, and then everything goes quiet again.
The camera keeps on blinking.
I’m almost there, I tell Lucan.
He stays silent to let me focus, but I feel his presence like a dark awareness honing in on the movement of my thoughts. I reach out a hand, grab the door handle, and ease it partway open.
A cool gust of night air hits me in the face. I blink, then sidle my body through, not daring to open the door any further. As soon as I’m on the other side, I snick it shut behind me, wincing at the click of the latch that seems to echo through the alleyway.
I’m out,I say.
It’s the first time I’ve ever been outside at night. If I thought the spaces between complexes were unnerving before, now they’re downright terrifying—like narrow throats swallowing me whole from every direction. Only the faintest illumination of moonlight filters through the eaves above my head, so it takes a second for my eyes to adjust to this new level of darkness.
When they do, I simply stand here, my heartbeat thrumming, looking left and right at all the doors. So many doors, closed and lifeless for now, but for some reason my imagination tells me they’re going to fly open as I pass them, monstrous arms snaking out to curl around me and drag me back.
Saskia? Lucan asks.If you want to go back in and try this a different night, I—
No.I straighten.It’s just—I’ve never smelled the night air before.
What?
It’s… crisper. Kind of like mint? But there’s also a hint of something mossy.I use the conversation as an excuse to gather a big breath before forcing myself to move—not toward the main road on the right but deeper into the labyrinth of complexes on my left.
You’ve never smelled the night air before, Lucan repeats, temper simmering beneath his tone as if the idea of that personally offends him.I’ll add that to my list.
Your list?I soften each of my footsteps as much as I can. There might not be anyone else in these alleyways right now, but I don’t want a sentry patrolling the main road to hear even the slightest scuffle from my direction.Your list of rules?
No. My list of everything those parasites have done to harm you and the rest of my citizens.
The way he says that, a hint of possessiveness surging through the words, has me almost halt in my tracks. He’s right, though. If the Guardians had never taken over Xantera, then Lucan… Lucan would be king right now. He’d bemyking. And I would behis.
The idea of belonging to him sends a shuddering thrill down my spine—one that he picks up on, unfortunately. I feel the sudden satisfaction oozing from his end of our connection, bleeding into my own senses.
You like the thought of being mine, little nightmare?
I scoff in my head, resuming my pace and keeping an eye on all the closed doors to make sure they stay closed.I like the thought of you keeping quiet, actually. It’s rude to read my emotions.
His gravelly words come out with a chuckle of amusement.I can assure you, I didn’t pry. I would’ve felt that shiver of yours from three hundred miles away.
The breeze is strong right now,I say defensively, even though the air is definitely stagnant at the moment—nothing stirring in the shadows ahead of me.I was just a little cold.
Or maybe you were wondering what it would feel like for me to rule over you.
