Page 50 of Xantera
Shit, I curse in my head, finally allowing myself to breathe properly.He’s gone.
He probably smelled your blood smeared on the walls of that tunnel, Lucan says, a possessive snarl vibrating through each word.If the coast is clear, you need to try to find another exit point before he comes back.
Easier said than done, I murmur. Because who knows where any of these other tunnels lead? All I can really do is choose one and follow it into the complete unknown.
For a second, I deliberate stealing one of those so-called torches so that I won’t have to plunge back into darkness, but that would be like a flickering beacon leading the Guardians straight to me. And I’m pretty sure they’d notice one of them missing from its sconce if they traverse this place so often.
Which begs the question—why? Why do the Guardians have so many veins running beneath their city? What are they using this underground system for?
We can ask the philosophical questions later,Lucan growls.Right now, I need you to move for me, Saskia.
So bossy,I mutter, but I relent.
Passing a mournful last look at all the firelight, I turn around and hurry deeper into this new tunnel, moving as fast as I can without actually running. Still, my footsteps crunch much too loudly over wet pebbles as the pathway twists and turns, and I wince at every footfall. What’s even worse? The panic of the moment is beginning to leak into my bloodstream, kicking my heartbeat into a higher gear.
I don’t know how much time has passed since I snuck out of my housing unit. Without the moon to travel a path across my window, I’m at a complete loss. What if it’s been several hours? What if I don’t make it home in time for my healing shift in the morning? Who’s going to cover me?
That’s what you’re worried about right now? Lucan bursts out.You’re trapped underground, in the dark, with walls closing in on either side of you, a Monster in your head, and a vampire after your blood, and you’re worried about who’s going to cover you at work tomorrow?
Well,I gasp,we’re short-staffed!
Lucan groans as if I’ve personally offended him.I’ll add it to my list.
What?
My list of grievances, remember? I’ll add that the Guardians don’t assign enough people to work at the Healing Center so that the ones who do feel even more shackled to their duties—just another way for them to control your sense of freedom.
I don’t really have an argument to that, and besides, my breathing has become more labored, my muscles more strained, as the tunnel floor begins to tilt upward. I can still see the vaguest outline of shapes ahead of me, so when I round a corner, elation jolts through me at the sight of a door at the end of the tunnel.
A way out.
A way back—
I tug on what feels like a marble door handle, but it doesn’t budge.
Rummaging in my cloak’s pocket, I bring out Diggory’s key and fumble with the lock, but this keyhole is much too large for the little silver one in my grip. It slides into the gaping hole with several inches to spare, and I yank it back out with a huff.
Fear begins to tighten around me, constricting my airway. Thishasto be a nightmare, me facing a dead end with nowhere else to go. It actually feels like the walls are shrinking around me now, and I have half a mind to start clawing at the door with my bare hands.
Breathe with me, Saskia. It’s okay.Youare okay.
Lucan’s voice doesn’tsoundlike it’ll be okay—it’s jagged and sharp, as if he’s just as panicked as I am. But the words themselves jog a memory that unspools in my brain like fine thread.
Breathe, Saskia. It’s okay. Take deep breaths with me, sweetheart.
My mother.
She wasn’t required to love me. She was assigned to be with my father just like I was assigned to Malcolm. She was forced into motherhood as soon as the Guardians took away those little blue pills and handed her a green badge, even if it took her a little longer to get pregnant than the women around her. She didn’t have to give me more than the basic parental requirements.
But she did. Whenever I jerked upright in bed in the middle of the night, shaking and sweating, she was by my side in an instant, rubbing circles between my shoulder blades. Telling me to breathe.Take deep breaths with me, sweetheart. That’s it. Nice and slow.
And then her voice would tumble into a lullaby, soft and whispery against my hair.
Round and round the Monster prowls,
Starved for meat and bone.
Beware its eyes, resist its howl,
