Page 102 of Black Wing and Shadows
I smiled faintly, unsure. “Hey, Alex.”
His gaze flicked to Zane, only for a heartbeat, before settling back on me. “Esme suits you. I’m glad you made it back in one piece.”
“Thanks,” I said.
The silence stretched, uncomfortable. Lili muttered something about finding someone and slipped away, leaving the three of us in the charged space.
Zane shifted, tension in the way his arm brushed against mine, but he didn’t speak first. He never did, not when it came to Alex.
Alex’s jaw worked as he studied us. Finally, he exhaled. “I’ve been angry. Hell, I still am, if I’m honest. You were—” He broke off, eyes darting briefly to Zane, then away again. “You were my brother for two years. Then she came along, and everything changed.”
Zane’s voice was quiet, steady. “I didn’t plan it. Neither of us did. But I won’t apologize for loving her.”
A flicker crossed Alex’s face—pain, resentment, maybe even a trace of understanding. He dragged a hand over his jaw and shook his head. “I know. That’s the worst part. I know you didn’t mean to… and I know you’d die for her.”
“I would.” Zane’s voice hit firm, his eyes locked hard on Alex.
For a long moment, they barely looked at each other—two years of friendship stretched thin, tugged almost to breaking, but not snapped completely.
Finally, Alex nodded, the sharpness softening. “I don’t completely forgive you. Not yet. Perhaps not in the same way it was before. But…” His gaze flicked to me, then back to Zane. “For her sake—and because she’s a Rider now—I’ll try. We all need each other if we’re going to survive what’s coming.”
Zane dipped his head slightly, the closest he’d ever get to a salute between them. “That’s enough for me.”
The air was still heavy, but different now—less like a battlefield, more like the first tentative step off it. Standing between them, I realized it wasn’t about me choosing one or the other anymore. It was about whether the two people I cared about most could find a way to carry this without letting it break them. And maybe—just maybe—they could. Perhaps we all could be friends. Alex and I were always better as friends anyway.
CHAPTER 36
The silence between the three of us still throbbed, thick with things none of us wanted to say out loud. Alex broke it first, exhaling through his nose before forcing a lopsided grin.
“Enough brooding. They’ve got the celebration set up in the courtyard—platters of roasted meats, honey cakes, and more ale and wine than half of us should be trusted with.”
Lili had just stepped back to my side, a spark of her usual mischief flashing in her eyes. “Good, because I fully intend on drinking until I forget just how terrifying today was. Losing my best friend is never an option.”
Alex huffed a laugh. “You and half the field, probably. It’s tradition—bonding day isn’t complete without someone stumbling out of the hall trying to sing the ballads of the First Riders.”
His gaze shifted to me, softer. “But you need food in you first, Auri. And rest. You’ve pushed your body harder than most.”
Zane squeezed my hand, voice firm. “We’ll go. She’s not missing this.”
“Good,” Alex said, his grin sharpening into something closer to their old camaraderie, if still fragile. “Let’s at least walk in looking like we are friends instead of three people trying to murder each other. Deal?”
I couldn’t help it—my lips twitched upward, a tiny laugh breaking the heaviness. Awkward or not, maybe that was the first fragile step toward something that wouldn’t break us completely.
When we stepped out into the courtyard, the air carried the rich scents of roasted venison, spicy root stew, and the sharp bite of strong ale. Lanterns swung overhead, their warm glow highlighting armor and shimmeringmarks. The crowd of Riders glittered as if the gods themselves had dressed them for the feast.
That day’s courtyard celebrations were for the Riders—bonding day belonged to us alone. The only others present were those who came as companions: siblings, close friends, or lovers, like Zane. He carried himself like he belonged, though I noticed more than one curious glance thrown his way. Let them look.
Long tables had been set up in neat rows, but already the order was unraveling—groups clustered in circles with mugs raised high, songs beginning to rise in half-sung, half-shouted verses. At the far end, barrels were being tapped, the foamy ale poured into clay mugs faster than the servers could carry them away.
“See?” Lili said, nudging me as she grabbed a mug from a passing tray. “Exactly what I promised. Food, drink, and questionable decisions before sundown.” She tipped her mug toward me, her faint shimmer pulsing as the lantern light caught her chest.
Zane’s hand brushed mine where no one could see, grounding me. “You’re pale,” he murmured, low so only I could hear. “Eat something before you drink. I mean it.”
Alex caught the exchange, his jaw flexing, though he forced a thin smile. “He’s right. The courtyard doesn’t wait—you’ll be three cups in before you realize you haven’t touched a plate.”
“I’m fine,” I said, but my stomach betrayed me with a quiet growl. Lili laughed and tugged me toward the food tables, tossing a teasing glance back at the boys. “Come on, Auri. Before they start bickering like an old married couple.”
Behind us, I heard Alex mutter something under his breath. Zane didn’t answer, but the silence between them was sharp as a blade.
