Page 44 of Hand-Fasting and Other Hazards
A sharp pain shot up her leg and Nia gasped, glaring at Ivy across the table. The witch had kicked her! Over this buffoon?
“Super rewarding,” Daniel went on, oblivious. “I lead a team that sells this magic pill.” His thick fingers made air quotes. “It says it helps people lose like, fifteen pounds in a week. Dummies fall for it all the time.”
Nia kicked Ivy this time. How dare she subject them all to this ass hat.
Unaware of the silent battle beneath the table, Daniel continued. “I mean, we can’t all be filatherapists.”
Nia’s brain melted as she realized Daniel meant philanthropists.
Through tight lips, she said, “I mean, you can, actually. We have a volunteer event this weekend—harvesting from community gardens around the area to feed anyone who could use a little extra help. Ivy worked on this all year. I’ll get you all signed up, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming a filatherapist.”
Daniel laughed, throwing his head back with half-chewed bread on full display. “Digging around in the dirt on a Saturday? I’ll pass. But if you want to hit the gym, or get in another kind of workout—” He smirked at Ivy. “—then I’m your guy.”
Nia found herself gripping her utensil again. She was going to kill Daniel. Possibly with a fork, in front of an entire restaurant of canoodling couples. The community garden harvest was Ivy’s passion project, one she poured her heart into because she grew up never knowing where her next meal would come from.
“I can’t wait to dig into the gardens Ivy helped create,” Lochlan said, his steady voice cutting through the tension. “I understand one community garden can feed three hundred people. All the gardens Ivy has been involved with will provide enough food to support not just those in Stella Rune, but the surrounding towns as well. It’s incredible.”
Nia was speechless. She glanced toward Ivy and saw a blush creep across her cheeks. Nia could kiss Lochlan for bringing this tiny bit of joy to the otherwise irredeemable encounter.
Then Daniel opened his mouth.
“Yeah, gardening sounds about right for you,” he said with another smirk. “Bet you’ve never lifted anything heavier than a book.”
“Say one more thing about him,” Nia murmured under her breath, “and I will gut you where you sit.” Her shadows stirred, uncoiling like restless serpents, creeping along the wooden floor of the restaurant. It would be quick. No one would know. She’d drag him under the table and strangle him and?—
A warm spark flared through her magic. Lochlan’s shadows entwined with hers, curling around them like a soft tether. The caress echoed across her skin, soothing her rage. Suddenly, she didn’t feel quite so murdery.
Nia glanced toward Lochlan. He gave a subtle shake of his head and she decided to stand down.
The server came with their main course and Nia pushed her food around her plate, her appetite long gone. She couldn’t eat—not with Ivy looking like she wanted to melt into the floor and Lochlan trying to keep the peace as Daniel droned on about this party or that supplement or this workout. At one point, she caught Lochlan checking his phone; she didn’t blame him. If she thought there was an escape that wouldn’t leave Ivy alone with Big D, she’d take it in a heartbeat.
Across the table, Daniel shoveled the last bite of his steak into his mouth. His eyes landed on Ivy’s plate. “If you’re not going to eat that?—”
“Oh, um, I might…”
Without waiting for Ivy’s answer, he dragged it across the table and began plowing through her untouched pasta. Ivy looked uncomfortable and even a little worried. As irritated as Nia was with her for dragging Lochlan and her into this, she hated seeing Ivy like that.
When Daniel’s gaze shifted toward Nia’s plate, she stiffened. She met his gaze head-on, daring him to try.
“Don’t even think about it,” Lochlan said, low and commanding.
But Nia wanted Daniel to think about it. Let him try, she thought. She’d spent the past half hour conjuring increasingly creative—and satisfying—ways to stab him with her fork.
The server approached, smiling brightly, oblivious to the tension simmering at the table. “Would anyone care for dessert?”
Before Nia could respond, Lochlan raised a hand. “Just the checks, please,” he said with his usual politeness, though the edge in his voice was unmistakable.
Daniel shoved his chair back with a loud screech, making everyone wince. “Bathroom,” he grunted, disappearing without another word.
Nia threw her napkin onto her plate. “Well, that was torture.”
Ivy looked like she was about to cry. “He really didn’t seem this awful when he asked me out, but… he is. Isn’t he? I really am cursed!” She buried her face in her hands. “How do I get rid of him?”
Nia could think of several ways, all of which were satisfyingly violent, and none of which were particularly feasible in a restaurant full of witnesses. She was searching for something reassuring to say to Ivy instead, when she caught sight of a familiar figure weaving through the restaurant.
“Becket?” she said, surprised.
“Well, look at this,” he drawled with an easy grin. “If it isn’t my favorite witch and her husband-slash-my-best-friend.”
