Page 79 of Defending You
“I didn’t know.”
Asher acknowledged that with a nod. “My dad… He’s a good man in so many ways, but he took risks, stupid ones, always chasing the quick buck. He gambled, he borrowed. He lost just about every penny he got his hands on. Thank God Mom was a hard worker, but she had no education and two kids to raise. She could only do so much.”
Cici leaned forward, her hands clasped in her lap to keep from reaching for him. “That must’ve been so hard.”
His eyes flicked to hers, then away. “Knowing one mistake could unravel everything. And maybe I knew too much—much more than my little brother, who just took everything in stride. Not me. I wanted to help. I wanted to fix it. But I was a kid. What could I do?”
Her heart clenched with pity for the little boy Asher had been, pity he would scorn if she voiced it.
“I’d see those big houses on the coast, the kids with their new sneakers, and I just felt…invisible.”
“You weren’t invisible, Asher. Not to me. Not to the school. You were valedictorian.”
His smile held no humor. “Even as small as our class was, I bet half the kids didn’t know who I was until I stood on that podium at graduation and gave my speech.”
She’d argue, but was he right? How many people had known him? She had because they’d been in classes together. She’d always liked Asher. But he’d been quiet and kept to himself. He hadn’t played sports or been involved in clubs. She’d never thought to wonder why not.
Now, she guessed his family couldn’t afford the fees and couldn’t promise rides after meetings and events. Maybe they’d lived so close to the edge financially that even student council was beyond their means.
She swallowed, her throat tight. “What about now? Where are your parents?”
“They’ve got an apartment in Portland.”
“They’re doing okay?”
“They’re not going to lose it, if that’s what you mean.”
“You’ll make sure of that.”
He shrugged, telling her she’d guessed right.
“How about your brother?”
“Drew’s…still trying to figure out his life, but he supports himself.”
“I get it, why it’s so important to you to buy your own place, to own something of value.”
He didn’t meet her eyes. “It probably seems stupid to you. Stupid and small and…irrelevant, but it’s all I want. Just to be able to take care of myself and…and them, if they need me to. I just need to be…enough.”
He was so much more thanenough. He was brave, loyal, fiercely protective, fully competent. Yet he settled for so little, tethered to a past that kept him from soaring. “You could aim higher, you know.” She kept her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re…amazing, Asher. You’re far more than just ‘enough,’ and you deserve a condo, a house, and so much more.”
His eyes locked on hers, raw and unguarded, and the air felt as charged as the storm outside. For a moment, she thought he might move closer, might bridge the gap between them. But then he looked away, clearing his throat. “I need to check the weather.” He shoved his feet into his shoes, then dug in his duffel bag and pulled out a sweatshirt.
Cici swallowed the words she wanted to say, that she admired the way he’d risen above his childhood. That she admired the way he took responsibility for his parents and his little brother. That he could’ve gone the way of Wendall Gagnon, stealing to get ahead, but instead he’d become a great man.
But his walls were back up. So she kept her lips clamped tightly closed.
“Grab something warm to wear, if you’re cold.” He toed his bag. “Take whatever you want. We’ll be on the road again soon.” With that, he stepped outside onto the porch. To watch the weather, and to get away from her.
Outside, the rain still pounded, a relentless curtain hiding the world. But the storm would pass, and they’d continue their journey to Shadow Cove, and after that…
After that, he’d go back to his life and leave her in the past.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Asher guided the motorcycle through the darkness, its headlight cutting a narrow path through the wet night. The roads gleamed like mirrors, reflecting what little light existed, making it nearly impossible to distinguish between asphalt and standing water. He kept their speed painfully slow, every muscle tense as he navigated the treacherous conditions.
Behind him, Cici’s arms tightened around his waist each time they hit a patch of standing water or when the bike’s tires struggled for purchase on the slick pavement. The rain had finally stopped, but its aftermath made the ride almost as dangerous.
