Page 14 of Begin Again
“C’mon, I already cleared it with Lady. She’s down if you are.”
“You already cleared it with—” Charlie looks between me and the chestnut-colored horse, who pokes her head through the stall opening.
“I’ll be right here with you,” I say, taking one of her hands and gently placing it on Lady’s nose. With small strokes, I feel the tension in Charlie’s hand begin to lessen and she willfully pets the horse herself. My hand falls to her side, watching as her walls begin to crumble, and I can’t fight back the smile. “C’mon, Char, you got this.”
Charlie looks over her shoulder at me, and even though there is still a small amount of hesitation in her eyes, she nods. Looking back at Lady, she says, “No funny business.”
Lady huffs in response before throwing her head up and down.
“Tack up,” I say. “Let me see how a pro does it.”
It doesn’t take her long to prep Lady for their ride, less than it took me the first time I got on a horse, but who’s counting? When she’s finished, Charlie guides Lady out of the barn. We still have a few months left of nice weather before we’ll have to move lessons inside, but I don’t think a little cold weather will bother Shadow.
Charlie stands beside Lady, her hand resting on the horse’s shoulder, but she doesn’t move to hoist herself up. Her eyes flutter closed and Lady doesn’t move a muscle, almost like she knows that Charlie needs this moment to prepare herself.
Honestly, if she decided to turn and run, I’d let her. She accepted the invitation, and that was honestly more than I expected. If she walked away right now, that would be fine. At least she tried. It’s a step in the right direction.
Taking a deep breath, Charlie tips Lady’s nose toward her but still doesn’t make the jump. I’m about to tell her we can try again tomorrow, but with another breath, she lifts her left foot into the stirrup, makes a quick hop, grabs the cantle, and glides her right leg over Lady’s back in one fluid motion. She makes the whole process look as easy as breathing—for someone like her, it must be second nature. Charlie adjusts herself in the saddle, her body tense at first, but with every passing second, she relaxes further.
“How’s that feel?” I ask, patting the back of her thigh.
“It feels…good.” Charlie smiles.
“I don’t want to push you too far. If you want to be done—”
“No.” She cuts me off. “No. I’m good.” She leans down and pets Lady’s neck before giving Lady’s sides a gentle squeeze with her calves. At the silent command, the horse begins to move forward. It doesn’t take long before they’re trotting and then cantering and then they break into a full-on gallop.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” I hear over my shoulder. Joseph walks up the hill from the house with a proud smile. “How’d you do it?”
“I asked,” I say with a simple shrug.
The better question iswhyI did it, but that answer is much more complicated. Charlie and I aren’t exactly…friends, but after seeing how she is with the horses, I think she missed this part of her life. And if anyone could understand feeling like a piece of you is missing, it’s me. Joseph had been kind enough to open his home to me and give me a chance at a (somewhat) normal life when I didn’t know what normal meant. Helping Charlie get back to what she loved feels like a small step on the road to repay him for that generosity.
Joseph offers a quiet “huh,” rubbing the scruff on his cheeks. He looks between me and his daughter before shaking his head with a small laugh. “Whatever you’re doing, Xavier, keep it up.”
Charlie and Lady come to a stop in front of us, the biggest smile yet plastered on Charlie’s lips.
“You look good up there, kid,” Joseph says, matching her smile. “How’s it feel?”
“Good. Really good.” She reaches down to pet Lady again.
“Well, I came to tell you dinner is done, but I don’t want to rush this.” Joseph motions between the three of us, a smirk tugging on his lips.
“Five more minutes?” Charlie asks, and her father doesn’t even fight it. He waves us off and turns on his heel to head for the house. When I begin to do the same, Charlie calls out to me. “Can you stay with me?”
“I think you got the hang of it.”
“Please?” Her pleading green eyes grasp my heartstrings, and I find it incredibly hard to say no. She doesn’t need me here, but shewantsme here, and for some reason that feels like reason enough to stick around.
CHAPTER SIX
October 2028
WHEN I WOKE UP this morning, there was a pit in my stomach and a wave of anxiety in the air that wasn’t there when I went to bed last night. Like I’m missing something. Of course, I’m missing something. I’ve been missing my fucking memory for six fucking months, almost seven now. That thought put me in a sour mood from the moment I opened my eyes. Looking in the mirror, I decided to go into town and talk to Sloan. There had to besomethingelse we could do besides sit around and wait, because that method wasn’t working.
Bezer is covered in Halloween decorations in preparation for tomorrow. I didn’t realize they were so into this time of year, but then again, I haven’t come into town in almost two weeks. I’ve been busy at the ranch prepping for the winter. They’re saying it’s going to be a doozy this year, but they say that every year, don’t they?
The parking lot of the police station is empty, except for the one SUV that I know belongs to Sloan. Bezer has not kept up with modern times and normally that’s probably fine—it works for them—but when I’m trying to find my wayoutand back into the real world…their lack of modernity is deeply concerning. I still have yet to find a computer that’s up to date around here. The station is similar to the rest of town: stuck in the past. It’sa small two-room brick building with a single holding cell and two desks that face each other. And the Bezer Police Department isn’t much of a department at all. It consists of two officers—Chief of Police Daniel Sloan and Officer Jack Burnes—and one volunteer who fills in when needed, Emma Pearce. I’m not sure Emma has any authority to arrest people or do anything, but in a town like Bezer, there isn’t much need for it anyway.
