Page 104 of Grace & Henry's Holiday Movie Marathon
“Okay,” says Nick. “Can we bring our drinks?”
“Dude, all I’m saying is that it wasn’tyoursto give away,” says Cal. “It wasours. We got it for Christmas. It was a joint gift, remember? You got a bike that year. I got a new Easton baseball bat. Andwegot the Nintendo. Us! As in,ours.”
We’re in our parents’ family room watchingLove Actually. It’s hard to take someone’s anger seriously when they’re wearing a baby, but Cal’s more pissed than I thought he’d be about me giving Ian and Bella our Nintendo.
“You’re not wrong,” I say. “But I just felt like giving them…I don’t know, something cool.”
He sighs. “Whatever. I’m gonna look on eBay. When I find another one, you’re gonna owe me for half.”
Cal being so mad is worrying because if he’s this shook about a decades-old video-game console, how’s he going to handle me telling him that I’m officially moving to L.A.?
“Also,” he says, looking at my head, “you gotta promise me you’ll never work on anything electrical again. In fact, maybe don’t work onanythingagain, ever. Just call me, okay? I live four miles away.”
“That’s good advice, bub,” my dad says.
I gave the family an abbreviated version of my electrocution—one that didn’t include me talking to my dead wife.
“Would you three please shut up?” my mom says.
“Yeah, hush,” says Sally. “This is the best part of the movie.”
Colin Firth is marching across some little European city to propose to Aurelia, his house cleaner. “I don’t know,” says Cal. “The edited version kinda blows. They can’t say the F-word and they cut out the storyline about those two movie stand-ins who keep pretending to have S-E-X. That part’s hilarious.”
“Whatever,” says Sally. “It’s still great. Just be quiet.”
We watch in silence, then Cal nudges me and uses Kelsey’s hands to mime driving. “I was gonna beat you so bad atMario Karttonight.”
Sally is right:Love Actually,edited or otherwise, is great. However, thanks to Grace, it’s a little ruined for me. I cringed earlier when everyone was body-shaming that poor British girl. Also, stalking your best friend’s teenage wife with notecards couldn’t be creepier, especially when you imagine him in his house writing his speech out with a marker like a lunatic. Still, as even Grace admitted, the Colin Firth part is so good. And, of course, “I hate Uncle Jamie” is one of funniest lines in the history of British cinema.
I’ll tell Cal about L.A. later—after dinner, I’m thinking—just the two of us. I’ll break the news to my mom and dad after that, maybe tomorrow. They’ll be sad, but happy, too, I think, considering they kicked me out of their house last month and all. Cal, though…that’s going to be tough.
Colin Firth is having his moment now, fumbling through his proposal. My mom and Sally are smiling. Meanwhile, my dad has just dozed off.
“Bold move,” Cal says. “Most guys ask a girl on a date first, but…”
“Shh!” says Sally.
When Cal finally shuts up, I hear something: voices, a bunch of them. This happens all the time in the city, but out here in the suburbs it causes all of us to look at one another.
“What’s that?” my mom asks.
My dad’s eyes pop open. “What’s what?”
“That sound.” My mom turns the TV down just as Aurelia is about to say yes to Colin Firth in the restaurant.
“Maybe just pause it,” says Sally.
With the sound down, the voices outside are clear.
“I think it’s this one,” someone says. “So, who the hell’s Henry again?” someone else asks. “And why didn’t she just call him? It’s snowing.” Another guy yells, “Global warming, huh? Well, I’m freezing my ass off!” Then a woman shouts, “You’re talking about weather, not climate, you jackass!”
My dad is at the window now. “Um,” he says.
“What’s going on?” my mom asks.
“So, yeah, there are about twenty-five people outside,” he says. “Oh, and a dog, too.”
Sometimes something can feel so stupid, but also perfect. That’s how this feels. The stupid part first. My entire family trudged here in a long dummy parade. Now we’re standing out in the snow together and not ringing the doorbell because we aren’t sure if this is even the right house.
