Page 19 of Grace & Henry's Holiday Movie Marathon
Because if that’s what “friends” means to you, I’ve got bad news. I’m sexually dead inside. And even if I wasn’t, I’m not taking these sweatpants off until at least Monday.
I try again, but another text arrives.
Oh, and it’s 7:49 on Saturday night. Of course I’m awake. How old do you think I am?
I delete what I was trying to say as more words fill my little screen.
“BootyText” is a funny term, don’t you think?
Finally, I manage,How are you texting so fast?
You don’t use voice to text? You should try it. It even does punctuation.
Sometimes it says duck instead of duck though.
I mean duck.
Why would Apple think I want to say duck?
The flood of words finally stops, and I gather myself.
No, it wasn’t a booty text.
Um, ouch. But, actually, whew!
I feel myself smiling—even the botoxed parts. I hardly know this woman, but it’s nice to be talking with her again. Suddenly my apartment feels a little less empty.
Hello?
More words come as I try to think of what to say.
Did you pass out? I see how it is. You chugged a bottle of rosé, sent me an unsolicited booty text, now you’re asleep. I’m officially blocking you.
Also, note the little dash thingy over rosé. That’s called skills.
I laugh now. A kid was wearing Crocs at my local coffee shop this morning, and I thought of Grace. I remembered how she’d left the heel straps folded up, like she’d committed fully to inactivity.
Henry?
You okay?
I type, hit Send again.Can I maybe just call you?
“I swear to god, Henry,if you ask me what I’m wearing…”
This is how Grace answers her phone.
“I won’t, I promise.”
“Actually, I already told you. Yeah, Costco sweatpants. And I’ve combined them with my favorite lounging sweater. Last time I wore it home, my mom said she didn’t know Goodwill had a section specifically for shut-ins.”
“Jeez.”
“She means well,” says Grace. “I think. That’s what I tell myself.”
“Are you at work?” I ask. “Aren’t bar-slash-restaurants open Saturday nights?”
“No,” she says. “Well, yeah, they are, but the beauty of owning one is that I don’t have to go very often. I have a good manager.”
