Page 85 of The Hanukkah Hoax
Marisa felt the wave of emotion rising in her stomach, so she forced a smile and gestured toward the food on the counter. “Hey, uh, why don’t you guys take the hot dogs and stuff over to the neighbors’ place? I’ll join you after I use the bathroom.”
“Sounds good, honey bun.”
She hugged her parents, dearly this time, and meant every bit of the squeeze she gave, but she had held back a bit, too, so they wouldn’t see the sad little part of her that wished for a slightly different miracle than the one this Hanukkah had given her.
After splashing some cold water on her face, Marisa bundled up and stepped out into the crisp evening air, determined to enjoy the non-firework fireworks and a few brats, when a broad figure stepped out of the car in front of her parents’ house.
Marisa started at first, not sure whether she should run, scream, or heave the bag of ketchup and mustard at the person’s head. But when the man moved up her driveway, farther into the spray pattern of the porch light, the shaggy blond hair and reserved gap-toothed smile that greeted her stole the tension from her limbs.
And replaced it with a different sort of terror.
“Cal? What are you doing here? Is everything all right?”
“Oh, aye, I suppose. Now, before you go thinking me a creep, know that Eden gave me this address and told me where you’d be. If you have any issues with that, take it up with her. I’m not interested in getting arrested tonight.”
“Um, okay?” Then she noticed the folded piece of paper in his hand.
Cal lifted the thing in the air between his index and middle fingers. “I’m just an errand boy. I’ve been told to deliver this. That’s all.”
Her heart was in her feet again, weighing her to the spot. And Cal seemed to get the sense that movement was beyond her, so he graciously walked toward her and handed it off.
She recognized Alec’s handwriting instantly.
“Have a read. Then have a drink. It’ll be a new year soon. No one should be left with a cold belly. And if you choose not to forgive him, I’ll respect that and still pummel him properly in recompense.” He winked at her with a charming smile she was certain was a family trait. “Good night, Marisa. Happy New Year.”
Then he was gone, and she was left holding a note that felt far heavier than the flimsy paper ever could.
Slowly, with trembling hands, she opened the flap and read.
Marisa,
In case I don’t get to you in time, there are some things I need to tell you.
First, as I write this, I’m sitting here with a box of blueberry candy canes. They taste like the worst parts of a Jolly Rancher and those hard sucking candies my Nan used to have in a dish at her front entrance. Reminds me of cough medicine and that concentrated syrup that goes on shaved ice. They’re truly vile fucking things . . . and I love them. I love them because I know you love them.
I’m not smart enough to find the words to fix what I’ve done. And, no, that’s not a cop out. I say this because I have a gnawing fear that I’ve broken your trust by trying to take care of things in the only way I knew how. I fear I’ve done irreparable damage, and trying to say I’m sorry just sounds so paltry and pointless.
I left New Jersey, which I’m sure you’ve learned by now. I went back to England, but not for the reason you might think. You see, I’ve been thinking about stories and how the story I’d always written for myself no longer seemed to fit the way it had. And I realized why.
That version didn’t have you in it, and I needed to see what I could do to change that. I’ll not waste space here on details, as there are far too many and you deserve to hear them first and in person.
I know this is all vague and you have no reason to trust me or even agree to see me again, but all I can say is that, when you were with me, nothing about it was fake on my end. You are my everything, Marisa.
So, what kind of a man would I be if, by some bloody miracle, I get you back, but I haven’t done the work to earn you?
I’ll be traveling for a bit and don’t know how reachable I’ll be, but know that I’m working my way back to you, so you can rail at me in person and batter me with all the blame I deserve.
I’ll take it all, because I’m working on giving you all of me—my heart, my body, my soul, and whatever else I can do to round out the package.
Wherever your heart is at, I’ll accept it. But it’ll never stop me from loving you or finding my way back to the best choice I ever made.
The right choice. The only choice.
-Alec
Marisa swiped at her leaky eyes and yanked her phone out of her pocket. She barely had her glove off before she tried his number.
And tried again. And again.
