Page 54 of Avenging Jessie
Which made her feel like an awful partner. A terrible friend.
But oh, what she’d discovered about him. It only made her respect him more. In fact, she felt in awe of him and what he’d accomplished after what he’d survived.
They were both survivors. She’d known it before, but now, after what she’d read, it felt entirely different. She felt a deeper level of connection with him. Had a deeper understanding of what made him tick and why.
Flynn hadn’t handed him the lead because of her and her issues—it had beenbecause of him.
He’d been brainwashed to do whatever Ian Bastion wanted under the guise of protecting Britain at all costs. He’d been groomed and molded by the Mastermind into an agent before he ever became a soldier in the Queen’s army or eventually an MI6 officer. He’d had his loyalty to the crown and his ‘family’ tested again and again.
And then found out it was all part of a secret shadow government.
The ultimate betrayal of his loyalty and allegiance. A betrayal of everything he’d valued.
She now understood the man she’d just opened up to in a whole different light. Understood his need to do the right thing. To prove he was the leader Flynn knew he could be.
He was the man she was falling in love with.
Jessie sensed movement in her periphery and glanced up to see Tessa sliding out of the seat next to Tommy’s. The other woman crossed the aisle with the kind of quiet grace only an experienced operative could pull off—no wasted motion, no unnecessary sound.
Tessa eased into the seat across from her and tapped the laptop with a manicured nail. She was always stylish and put together, even when on a mission, and Jessie felt like a cretin next to her. “What are you working on? Brewer, I assume? I’ve been thinking of a multitude of ways to cut off his balls and torture him. Those are, of course, in line with the various ways I can kill him.”
Jessie tapped a key to shrink one of the tabs and closed another casually. “Yep, just running a few searches to see if I can get a list of his U.S. allies or past coworkers who might also have a grudge against our employer.Ifwe’re still employed.”
Tessa arched a brow, and the corners of her mouth curved in a way that was equal parts amused and sharp. “Are you sure you weren’t checking Spence’s text messages and emails to see if he’s involved with someone?”
Dammit. Tessa never missed anything. Jessie’s cheeks heated. “Why would I do that?”
“He’s not, you know. Involved with anyone. He hasn’t had a relationship, even a casual one, in quite a while. In fact, I’d say, since he became a swan and fell head over heels for you.”
It was no revelation. Jessie had known for a long time how Spence felt, but right now, the confirmation made her chest feel tight.
Tessa didn’t back off. “It’s not easy when certain emotions get tangled up with your mission, especially when you’ve been fighting them for so long. You two getting along okay?”
“Yes. No.” Jessie huffed a faint laugh, pretending to focus on the trackpad. “Sort of. It’s…complicated.”
That earned her a knowing smirk—the kind that said Tessa had already guessed more than Jessie wanted to confirm. “Sex really complicates things on a mission. Add to the fact that he’s the lead, and…” She flipped one hand back and forth. “Things could go either way for you in the emotional department, as well as with your career.”
Tessa should know, considering that she and Tommy had given in to their attraction while chasing down Brewer six months ago. Their relationship had been tricky then, and still was, but their devotion to each other was rock solid.
Jessie snuck another glance at Spence. As messed up as they both were, was it even possible for them to be rock solid?
Jessie’s gaze slid toward her brother. He was leaning back with his eyes closed, one arm draped over the armrest and into the seat Tessa had vacated, as if he were reaching for her even now.
“I’m glad he has you,” she said quietly, fingers still idly scrolling through one of Spence’s redacted files. “But it feels like there’s a wall between us since…”
Tessa didn’t miss a beat. “Since he found out you weren’t dead—and that you were working with Brewer.”
Jessie’s throat tightened. She gave a slight nod, closing one more tab before it could betray how deep she was digging. “Yeah.”
Tessa’s voice softened, but it didn’t lose its conviction. “He knows you did it to protect him. All of us. He’s not holding a grudge.”
Jessie wanted to believe that. But wanting to believe it and actually believing it were two different things.
Her eyes drifted to Spence again across the aisle, head tipped slightly back, dark lashes resting against his tan skin. The laptop in front of her hummed softly, some of his world, his secrets, still open under her fingertips. “That’s what I’m trying to do for him.” She only wished she could make him see that. “He and the rest of the swans know Brewer to an extent. They know what we’ve faced and what’s in the files, but they don’t know him like you and I do.”
Tessa’s expression hardened. “And yet, he’s still outmaneuvered us. Outstrategized us. It makes me sick. It makes me feel stupid.”
“Me, too. But here’s the thing—it’s not that he’s brilliant, or more cunning than us. He’s a psychopath with an ego. You once told him you could see his blind spots where he couldn’t. I believe that’s true. We’ve failed because we’ve been trying to outguess him. While you can see his blind spots, he can see ours. He knows our loyalty to the Agency is without question.”
