Page 81 of Witchlore
“Yes.” I see myself, or Ariel, creating the blood lock on the diary when my parents died. It’s a strange sensation. This morning I would have called it a vision and been unsure of it, but now it’s a memory and I am utterly certain I lived it. “But why would Samir do that? His sister died.”
I remember now how close the family was, how Bisan talked about her brother so fondly. I also remember the horror of their mother’s reaction. I felt it had been justified at the time, or at least, my past self seemed to think it had been.
“Yes, but he knew it wasn’t Ariel’s fault.” Kira winces. “Sorry, I mean your fault. He wrote the spell to restore your memories but then, well, he lost the book.”
“He lost it?” Bastian says incredulously.
“He was in the RAF. He hid the book in his parents’ house andthey were bombed out.” Kira nods. “When Grandfather Samir got back, he looked for it, but it was lost. He tried to keep an eye out for children who might emerge, shifter babies orphaned by the war, but there were so many of them.…”
“And Ariel was a shifter, always changing appearance,” Bastian says slowly.
“It was impossible,” Kira says sadly. “He stopped looking but he passed the knowledge down to my dad, and my dad to me. Grandfather Samir loved Bisan so much, he was always so proud of her, and he hated that the person she loved was lost, too.”
“Why didn’t you tell us before?” Bastian asks, holding my shoulders protectively. I’m surprised by how gratified I am that he said “us.”
“I never thought any of this would happen. My dad knew the grimoire was in the exhibition, but even with the book we still had no idea where Ariel could be. In all the time I’ve known Lando, I’ve never suspected they were Ariel, and once I started to… well, you wouldn’t have believed me.” Kira shrugs helplessly. “You don’t like me, especially after everything with Elizabeth.”
I watch Kira twist her ring on her finger, a ring that no longer feels antagonistic or threatening. It only reminds me of Bisan, using her magic to help people in the Blitz. Despite all my past resentment, I recognize how much Kira has risked to help me today. The Tavi family may have brought a complicated mix of incredible joy and terrible sorrow into my past life, but that pain feels very far away. Not as relevant as Kira’s actions, right in front of me.
“Well, when did you suspect?” Bastian demands.
“Too late.” Kira’s face is suddenly so sad, her eyes glassy, and I know what she means.She didn’t know in time to save Elizabeth.“Honestly, at the start of this term, I was just trying to look out for you, Lando. I knew it was what Elizabeth would have wanted me to do. Then you two started to get… involved.” Her eyes fix on Bastian’s arm around my shoulder. He tightens it. I wonder if she’s thinking about the magic sharing, something practically unheard of between witches and shapeshifters, which we performed so casually in front of her. If she is, she pushes past it to carry on. “I worried it might be too soon. I didn’t know if you were a good person, Bastian, then after all the magic with Carl, I looked into you.”
“You found out about Cameron,” he says quietly. Kira looks down at her shoes. Then she looks up at me with pleading in her eyes.
“I told my dad what I thought was happening, and he told me that spell just wouldn’t work unless you actuallywereAriel Lander. There was no other way to verify your true identity. He said you might be having dreams of your old memories and stuff, so I tried to… sound you out a bit. See what was going on.”
I think of all her snooping this term. Now I can see the barely veiled desperation behind it all, trying to give me guidance without pushing me away. For the first time, I think I might actually appreciate the excessive efforts of Kira Tavi.
“But I didn’t start to think it was possible until I showed you the photo and it seemed like you knew Bisan. I knew then that the best thing I could do was at leasttryand get you back to yourself. I’m sorry I didn’t realize earlier—if I had… If only Elizabeth had said something, if she’dtoldme…”
“Kira.” I take her hand, pressing my thumb to her beautiful, familiar ring. I am engulfed in the scent of her ripe plum magic. “You couldn’t have known.”
She takes a deep, steadying breath and squeezes my fingers before pulling her hand away and sniffing loudly.
“But do we know for sure now?” Bastian says, voice still a little nervous. “You’re really a… hundred-year-old shapeshifter? You’re Ariel Lander?”
“I am.” I watch memories play out inside my mind. Familiar and strange, remote but true. The longer my eyes are open, the more distant the memories feel, my body focusing instead on the sensation of dirt under my fingernails and Bastian’s warm hand gently stroking up and down my back. “I was. I…” I swallow hard. “Sorry, I’m thirsty.”
“Come on, let’s go outside,” Bastian says. Kira helpfully packs everything back into my backpack for me and Bastian supports me as we make our crouched journey out into the daylight. I press my bloody hand against the rune in the stone and the secret door swings closed. I wait patiently while Kira uses a spell to carefully bury the other ingredients in the mud in front of the door. I marvel at how unafraid I am now, watching the magic in her ring. There’s even a tingling in my fingertips, as if I want to join in, possibilities of the future, potential magic itching to be released.
I take a seat on the sparse grass outside the cave, my back resting against the algae-covered rock. The air around me smells miraculous, fresh and wholesome, that particular scent of wet leaves drying in the sun, organic and sweet. Bastian reaches into his satchel and pulls out a coconut water.
“Did you bring that for me?” I unscrew the top.
“Uh-huh.” Bastian smiles so shyly that my stomach tips over. “I know you get thirsty and it’s good after—”
“After blood loss, I remember. Thanks.” I smile and sip it. Kirais turning off her flashlight and putting it back into her tote bag and kicking salt off her shoes.
“So, Lando’s been living twenty-one years, over and over, their magic bound up by the curse, without remembering?” Bastian’s hand is resting on my shoulder. I try to resist the urge to lean into it.
“It won’t happen anymore; your magic is no longer bound.” Kira smiles at me. “You’ll never remember those lives you’ve lived and your life as Ariel will probably just become a memory of a memory.” That makes sense to me. The memories of my past life are already shrinking inside me, becoming less mine and more Ariel’s. They’re still there, if I look for them, but they’re not so overwhelming. What matters more, the memories I can grab and taste, are the ones of Elizabeth, of my long, lonely summer, of Bastian and his kisses.
“And Lando will be safe now?” Bastian presses.
“Yes.” Kira gives me a nod. “You won’t die and start again.”
Bastian’s sigh of relief travels through my body.
