Page 18 of The Goat in the Bedroom
“I've been thinking about LA,” he started, then stopped and ran his hands through his hair. “Actually, I've been kind of freaking out about LA.”
“Freaking out how?” I wanted to be careful. Not seem too biased about what he wanted to say. I wasn't the one he'd give that all up for.
“I've never lived alone,” he said in a rush. “I know that sounds ridiculous for a twenty-two-year-old man, but I've literally never been in a house by myself. There's always been family around, always been noise and chaos and people. And Chris bought me this amazing house, and it's perfect, but it's also huge and empty and I'm terrified I'm going to hate it.”
He took a deep breath like he'd been holding his breath and not holding this admission in.
Okay. Wow. At least he wasn't telling me he wasn't going to move at all. He was just anxious about it. That was fair.
I studied his face, seeing real fear there. Gryff was sunshine personified most of the time, but underneath all that confidence was a vulnerability he rarely let anyone see.
“I'm sure it won't be that bad,” I said gently. “You'll be busy with training and team stuff. And Flynn will be right across the street.”
“I know, I know.” He nodded at first, but it somehow turned into him shaking his head. “And I'm not asking you to solve my problems or anything. It's just... would you move in with me? Be my roommate?”
The question hit me like a tackle, not because it was unexpected but because of how much I immediately wanted to say yes. And that wanting had my heart working overtime.
“Gryff—“
“I know it's a lot to ask,” he blurted out. “And I know you're planning to get your own place with some of the other rugby girls and figure things out on your own. But I just thought, hoped... maybe we could figure it out together?”
I knew better than to rely on anyone else for stability or security. I'd gotten good at being self-sufficient because depending on other people led to disappointment when I inevitably left or someone you relied on decided they didn't need you anymore.
We'd moved around so much before my parents divorced and that meant I was real used to relying on me, myself, and I when it came time to start over. No one else helped me figure out my place in new schools, on new teams, or who were going to be friends and who weren’t.
Except Gryff had done pretty much every single one of those things that first day at Thornminster High six years ago.
Living with Gryff would mean depending on him, trusting that he wouldn't change his mind or decide he needed space or find someone more interesting to share his life with. It would mean putting down roots in a way I'd never had the opportunity to or even allowed myself to do.
He pulled at every single individual whisker in his beard while he waited for my answer, and my heart shifted in my chest with a simple flippy-flop.
This was Gryff.
My Gryff.
My best friend in the whole world.
The person who understood when we crushed on the same guy or girl in class. The person who listened to me complain about my parents' complicated relationship without trying to fix it. The person who'd staged an intervention with baby goats when I'd been stress-spiraling about finals.
“Artie?” he said quietly.
I'd been silent for too long. “I've never had someone to move somewhere new with before besides my mom.”
His eyes flickered, hope raising his eyebrows. “So...?”
“So yes.” Yeah. That was the right decision. I knew that the second the words fell out of my mouth. “Yes, I will be your roommate. In the fancy-pants house your brother just freaking gave you for graduation.”
That decision was a hell of a lot easier than thinking about playing for Scotland.
The smile that spread across his face was blinding. “Hells to the yeah. Really?”
“I'm warning you now, I'm going to want to adopt every stray animal we encounter, and I have strong opinions about couch cushions.”
“Done,” he said immediately. “We'll rescue all the animals, and you can have as many fluffy, furry, adorkably cute pillows on the couch as you can possibly order.”
“I'm making you watch rugby on that enormous TV I saw in the picture of the living room.”
“Of course.”
