Page 8 of Sweet Boys Love Christmas
Bertie: Thanks. I’m going to go now. You’re making me cry.
Fuck. My heart cracks right down the middle at the thought.
Me: I didn’t mean to.
Bertie: Oh, I know. I always cry when I’ve had too much to drink. I’ll be better in the morning. Promise.
Me: Is it okay if I check in with you tomorrow?
It takes several minutes for her reply to come in. While I wait, anxiety threading through me, I worry I’ve pushed her too far. My mind has started to spiral inside my head when a message finally comes through a few minutes later.
Bertie: Sorry, I think I dozed off for a second there. But yes, that’s fine.
Me: Cool. Go to bed.
Bertie: I will and thanks for talking to me. I do feel better.
Me: Anytime.
THREE
BERTIE
Bertie
Snow flurries chaseme around campus. Though it’s cold, I can’t help but relish in the elation that’s hit me today. I’m tempted to stick my tongue out and spin in a circle to see if I can catch a flake. That’s how happy I am to have finals behind me and freedom ahead. One more semester down and only one to go until graduation.
I’m still annoyed with my parents, but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I’ve hyped myself up for a Christmas alone. I decorated my dorm with a small tree I picked up at Target, created a plan for a movie marathon, and ordered Christmas-themed pajamas galore.
All I can do is make the best of it. I even ordered a few presents for myself and had them gift-wrapped so I can open them on Christmas. Sure, I know what’s inside each one, but chances are high my mom will forget to send me anything.
The holiday isn’t about gifts, of course, but the reminder that my parents forget my existence stings. This way, I’ll at least have a few new items of clothing and handbags to keep me company.
Although, now that I think about it, that might only make me feel more alone than I already am.
With my thoughts racing and my stomach turning, I let myself into the coffee shop on campus. Once I place my order for a peppermint mocha, I wait off to the side and send a text to Rosie, though I don’t expect a response any time soon. She’s busy these days.
I have other friends on campus, but they’ve all headed home for the holidays. Rosie, on the other hand, lives close by and is celebrating Christmas here with her family.
When my order is up, I grab it and head back out into the chilly December weather.
Now that finals are done and I won’t have studying to occupy my time, I’m not sure what to do with myself. It’s been way too long since I’ve been to the gym, and that would distract me, but the idea of running on the treadmill or lifting weights doesn’t sound appealing at the moment.
I could go to the movies. Or shopping. I think there’s some sort of light festival happening in a nearby town.
Maybe I should do that tonight.
So absorbed in my thoughts, I run straight into a person—luckily without spilling my coffee. As I bounce off his hard chest, I’m already spewing apologies.
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t?—”
Luke takes one of his earbuds out and smiles in a way that makes his eyes crinkle at the corners.
My stomach dips in response. I never got butterflies like this with Tommy. Maybe that’s why Luke scares me so much. Because if I gave him a chance and things didn’t work out, I’d never recover.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asks.
“Fine,” I answer a little too curtly. With a breath in, I will myself to relax and give him a smile. “Just finished my last final and wanted coffee.” I hold up my cup.
