Page 177 of The Persistence of Thornes
I give a wooden nod. There’s no telling how this will go.
“We’ll see you when you bust out of here,” Thayer says, giving my foot a light tap.
“I’ll see you soon,” I tell Seda. “I promise.”
That’s a promise I can keep.
She nods, wiping at her face. “Okay.”
Once Seda has followed Thayer out, Salem rests a hand on mine. “I don’t know what any of us would’ve done ifwe’d lost you. I hope you know how much we all care about you.”
I turn my hand over and give hers a squeeze. “I know.”
She gives me a watery smile. “Good. I’ll let your parents know they can come back.”
I nod and take a moment to brace myself for their appearance. Chances are, this visit will leave me feeling emotionally drained.
All too soon, they’re both standing in the doorway, peering in.
Annoyance leaches into my tone as I adjust my position in the bed. “You might as well stop staring and get in here.”
My mom rushes forward, a cry ripping out of her throat. She opens her arms wide to hug me, but I shake my head and weakly hold up an arm.
“No, don’t.”
I’m doing a kindness by allowing them in to visit. I don’t owe them any affection. For years, I’ve put up with their shit, and I’ve been more patient and understanding than they deserve.
“I…” Her hands float down and rest listlessly at her side. “I guess I deserve that.”
“You do.” I don’t bother to soften the blow. “You’ve been nothing but judgmental of my life choices for years. You ridiculed my ex endlessly, you’ve never accepted Seda, and now that I’ve met someone else, you’re repeating the cycle. You never learn, and frankly, I’m tired of giving you second, third, and hundredth chances. You’ve shown me over and over that you’ll never change, and I finally believe you. I won’t continue to make thepeople I love endure your ridicule. It’s gone on long enough.”
“Caleb—” she starts.
I shake my head. “I’m serious, Mom.”
Her hands hover near me like she wants to touch me but knows if she does, I’m likely to blow up. “I understand, Caleb, I do but?—”
“You don’t, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. There are no buts to be had. No more excuses. I mean it.”
“I’ve just always wanted what’s best for you.” She sniffles.
“What makes you think you know what’s best formylife? You’re my mom. You’re supposed to be there to support me. Not make my decisions for me. I decide who I want in my life. Not you.”
She brushes her short hair behind each ear. It’s a nervous tic. She only ever messes with her hair when she’s uneasy.
“I’m not a kid anymore,” I remind her. “I’m an adult, and I’m fully capable of making my own decisions. My life choices are mine to make.”
“I…” She rubs her hands down her shirt. “You don’t understand. It’s so hard being a parent?—”
Irritation washes over me, making every cell in my body hurt. Despite the pain, I bark out a laugh. “Iama parent. You may refuse to accept that, but I am. Seda is my daughter in every way that matters.”
She winces. “Right. I…”
“Forget?” I supply for her. “Even though Seda has been my daughter for ten years?”
“It’s just hard for me to accept,” she admits.
“It shouldn’t be,” I argue. “All I’ve ever asked is for you to follow my lead, and you didn’t.”
