Page 112 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
“Because I know you,” I reason. “And you’re strong and resilient and I’m going to be by your side no matter what you decide.”
She wipes at her eyes. “Are we going to keep it?”
I wet my lips. I want to. The minute she told me she thought she was pregnant, I had already begun to imagine myself as a dad to a cute little girl in pigtails, or a little boy in tiny overalls like the ones I wore as a toddler. But I’m also two years older than Harlow and I’m not the one who has to carry the child.
“What do you want to do?” I ask her, smoothing some of her hair off her forehead.
“I don’t know,” she admits, bottom lip wobbling. “I’m scared. What if I’d be a bad mom?”
“You could never be a bad mom,” I assure her.
“How can you know that?” She sniffles and I grab her a Kleenex. It comes in handy that her mom has a box in every room.
“Because I know you, and you’re the best person I know. The kindest. The most caring. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
She frowns. “I’m going to be a senior in high school with a baby.”
I shut my eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
Her fingers wrap around my wrist, and I blink my eyes open. “I don’t want you to apologize. I practically begged you to have sex with me.”
“You didn’t beg.”
She levels me with a look that says she disagrees.
“Think about things,” I tell her, cupping her cheek. “Decide what you want. I’m going to be here to support you no matter what.”
Her lips shake and she puts her hand over mine. “I’ll think some more, but I … I think I want to keep it.” She places her other hand against her stomach. “There’s a baby in me,” she whispers in a tone that’s a mix between awed and horrified.
“We can make it work,” I promise her.
“Even as young as we are?” She bites down on her lip and worry fills her eyes.
“Even then.”
I’m already thinking about how I can finish out this semester and then not go back to school in the fall. I have a part-time job currently, but I’ll get something full-time during the summer and save every bit I get. The baby won’t come until November if I’ve done my math right. Harlow will still be in school, but maybe I can move in here to help with the baby or stay with my parents if hers don’t want me here, which I can’t say I’d blame them if they didn’t.
“I need to think about this,” she says softly. “I need to be sure. This will change our entire lives.”
“I know.” I hold her close. “Whatever you want to do, I’m here for you.”
CHAPTER 42
SPENCER
SEVEN YEARS AGO
“I’m so scared to tell them,” Harlow whispers as we walk up the front walkway to her house. We’ve spent a few hours on the pier and beach, just chatting and psyching ourselves up for this conversation. We’ll still have to tell my parents, but neither of us are as worried about them as we are hers. Not that her parents are cruel or anything like that, but I understand it’s a different situation since she’s the one that’s pregnant—nine weeks today.
“I’m here,” I remind her. “We’re doing this together.”
She nods and squeezes my hand. The front door is unlocked so we let ourselves in.
“Mom? Dad?” She calls out. When nothing comes back, she says, “They must be outside.”
We head to the back of the house and out through the doors. Sure enough, they’re seated at their outdoor patio table, each with a glass of wine and a platter of snacks, like crackers and cheese, between them.
Her mom laughs at something her dad said and then they notice us.
