Page 141 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
Together.
In my apartment.
And Jameson doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know that I slept with my ex.
He doesn’t know that I’m not sure I regret it.
He doesn’t know I’m a cheater.
He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t fucking know.
Do I truly think Spencer would tell him just to spite me? No. But I also think if he’s still as in love with me as he claims, that desperate people do desperate things.
“Whoa, whoa. You’re hyperventilating again. I think this is more than food poisoning. Maybe I should take you to the hospital.”
“No,” I say forcefully. “I’m fine—or I will be. The hospital is drastic.”
Jameson looks over to Spencer like he’s silently asking his opinion. Spencer shakes his head no. With a shrug, Jameson stands.
“All right, no hospital. But I’m keeping an eye on you.”
At least him keeping an eye on me, means I can do the same to him.
“I’m going to check on Roe and see if she’s still sleeping,” Spencer says, already turning down the hall.
“Do you want a ginger ale?” Jameson asks. “A peppermint?”
“No,” I sigh. “I just need to sit here for a little while.”
“Okay,” he says, but it has a questioning tone to it. He has a right to be doubtful of me.
He barely forgave me for kissing Spencer. He’ll never forgive me for sleeping with him. And I can’t say I blame him, not at all, in fact. I wouldn’t be able to forgive him if he did the same thing.
I’m not sure how people who constantly cheat on various partners can handle this kind of feeling. Maybe serial cheaters are just built different. I feel like my insides are being split open and scraped against hot concrete. This ispainfuland I hate myself for being so confused that I would even do such a thing in the first place.
The clearing of a throat has me turning to find Spencer standing near the door. “She’s starting to wake up, so I went ahead and said goodbye. She’s a little groggy so she might not remember, but I do.” He runs his fingers through his hair, and the shaggy chestnut strands fall perfectly back into place. “I hope you feel better, Harlow.”
“Thanks,” I manage to squeak out and he dips his head in a nod.
He probably hasn’t even made it to his car when the text comes through on my phone. Luckily Jameson is occupied digging a ginger ale out of the fridge despite my protests, when it comes through.
I would never tell him, and I hate that you think I would. I’ll break my own heart a thousand times over before I ever break yours.
CHAPTER 55
SPENCER
SEVEN YEARS AGO
“Ilove the epidural. This shit is great. Whoever invented it, I want to marry them.”
I chuckle, brushing her sweaty hair off her forehead. I’m glad she’s getting some relief, especially as the contractions began to come more often. The good news is, the last they checked she’s dilated to a seven. It won’t be too much longer now.
“You want to marry them and not me?” I joke. We’ve talked about marriage in a roundabout way—agreeing one day it’ll happen but not going beyond that.
“You’re the reason I was in pain. They’re the reason I got out of it. Ergo, they win, and you lose my hand in marriage.”
