Page 149 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
“Happy for you,” Jasper says, pulling me into a hug.
“Thanks.” I smile when he lets me go and takes my sister’s hand.
Jameson’s already said his goodbyes to them, so they head off in the direction my parents went with Monroe.
“So…” Jameson turns so he’s in front of me, grinning and clearly riding the high of our engagement. “What does my fiancée want to do next?”
“Go home,” I answer honestly.
He laughs. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” I sag. “I need to take these shoes off and the dress too.”
His eyes darken with lust. “Yes, you do.”
If I manage to make it through this night and not have a panic attack, it’ll be a miracle.
He reaches for my hand—my left one—and he plays with the ring around my finger the entire walk back to the parking garage. Every time I glance at him there’s a tiny, pleased smile on his lips.
I want to crawl in a hole and die.
I don’t deserve him.
And I certainly, don’t deserve Spencer either.
CHAPTER 59
SPENCER
SEVEN YEARS AGO
“Uh … Spencer? You have to put your car in drive if we want to go home.”
“I know.” Fuck, my voice is high and squeaky with fear. “I’m working up to it.”
I glance in the rearview mirror again, trying to swallow down my panic over our newborn strapped in the back.
For some reason, it hadn’t occurred to me how panic inducing it would be to drive the baby home.
But I’m seriously contemplating rolling the window down and throwing up.
“I can do this.” I shift the gear from park into drive and ease forward.
A little old lady enters the crosswalk—which is at least twenty feet ahead of me—and I hit the brakes.
“Spencer.”
“Harlow.”
“We have to go sometime.”
I wait for the lady to cross onto the sidewalk and ease forward again.
“We should’ve practiced this,” I tell Harlow, following the signs for the exit. “This is scary. Do you know how many baddrivers there are? How many accidents a day happen in Santa Monica? Too many, Harlow. Too fucking many.”
She heaves a dramatic sigh from the back.
“I pushed a baby out of my vagina and my nipples feel like raw, chewed on sausage links. You can certainly manage to drive the damn car home.”
