Page 155 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
“That’s only because you’re with her more than I am,” I reason.
“I guess,” she says, but I can tell she doesn’t believe me.
“Have you talked to your doctor about how you’re feeling?” I probe.
Her spine stiffens. “Do you think something’s wrong with me?”
“No, I just think you should be honest that you’re struggling.”
“And have her think I’m crazy and take my baby from me? I don’t think so.”
I press my lips into a flat line and make a mental note to talk to her mom since she’s the one taking her and the baby to appointments when I can’t.
“I’m just tired,” she reasons. “I wouldn’t be so … paranoid if I was getting a full night of sleep.”
I’m surprised to hear her admit she’s paranoid, but I hate she thinks sleep is the issue. Sure, it’s probably part of it, but I don’t think it’s the whole issue.
“I’ll stay up with the baby tonight.”
She quickly shakes her head. “No, you have work tomorrow.”
“I don’t go in until twelve. I’ll be fine.” Tired, but fine. She frowns and I can tell she wants to take me up on my offer, but she also feels like she shouldn’t. “I promise to make sure she’s breathing the whole night,” I add.
Already Monroe has fallen back asleep in my arms.
I hate that I’m missing out on so much time with her, but I couldn’t afford to take paternity leave. We need as much money as we can get. Our parents can’t help us forever.
“Okay,” she agrees. “But only because I’m exhausted.”
I give her a quick kiss and say, “You’re doing an amazing job, Harlow. Don’t forget that. Monroe is so lucky to have you.”
“Yeah?” She gives me a watery smile. “You think so.”
“I know so.”
I hate that she’s feeling like this, so doubtful of her mothering capabilities, and I can’t help but feel like that’s my fault with her getting pregnant so young.
“I’m going to head up to bed then. I’ll move the basinet to your room.”
“All right. Goodnight.”
She gives me another kiss and pads quietly up the stairs.
Looking down at my sweet, sleeping little girl I can’t help but smile. Things are tough right now, but one thing is forcertain, this season of life will pass all too quickly, and I want to remember these little moments as much as I can.
CHAPTER 62
HARLOW
I’ve been engaged a week and somehow, I’ve successfully dodged Spencer until now. It’s helped he’s busy with whatever movie he’s filming and hasn’t been able to pick Monroe up for school.
“Shit,” I curse under my breath when I find him on the other side of the door.
I war with myself on whether or not to answer the door. It’s my day off and I had decided to hole up in the apartment to catch up on my schoolwork. It’s evening now, nearing dark, and Monroe is at my parents and staying the night. Jameson is away for work. He left yesterday. It makes me wonder if he somehow knows my boyfriend—fiancé—isn’t here, but that doesn’t make any sense.
As I’m standing there running through a million thoughts in my mind, I realize he more than likely already spotted my car in the lot outside and knows I’m here.
Pasting on a smile, I swing the door open. “Hey,” I greet.
