Page 94 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
On the way over to Spencer’s place, I pull into a local coffee shop’s drive-thru. I feel a bit bad for cheating on Cool Beans, but I’m choosing convenience. I order myself and Spencer a drink and get Roe their chocolate croissant.
I’m sure she’ll have chocolate all over her face by the time we get to her dad’s, but this is a special day for her, and a little chocolate for breakfast never hurt anybody.
I don’t have to enter the gate code when I arrive at Spencer’s place, so he’s either somehow added my car to be recognized, or he’s been watching his security camera for our arrival. I’m not sure which option is worse.
I pull up the driveway and park.
Sure enough, Monroe has chocolate dried around her mouth. I sigh and grab the drinks before ushering her inside the open garage door and into the house.
Spencer’s waiting for us in the kitchen and smiles when he sees us.
“Daddy!” Roe launches herself at him and he catches her easily. She smothers his face in chocolate-y kisses.
“Your mom let you have chocolate for breakfast?” he asks with a laugh.
“She said it’s a special day.”
He sets Roe down and turns to me, arching a single dark brow. “Oh, is that so?”
I shrug. “It’s not like we do stuff the three of us usually. This is an unusual circumstance. I got you coffee.”
I hold his drink out to him, and he takes it, shocking me when he presses a kiss to my cheek and whispers, “Thanks, babe.” He winces as he pulls away. “Sorry. Muscle memory.”
I nod like that makes total sense even though we’ve been broken up for years. But if what he said last weekend is true, and he hasn’t been with anyone since me, maybe it does feel like just yesterday to him.
“It’s okay,” I whisper back, even though I’m not sure it is.
This whole thing is shaping up to be so much more complicated than I ever thought it would be. With Spencer’s entanglement with Hollywood and being surrounded by beautiful people I never for a second thought he wouldn’t move on.
I tuck my hair behind my ear and step away, taking a sip of my coffee to have something to do so I don’t blurt out something stupid.
“Come on, come on,” Roe says, impatience clouding her tone. “Let’s go! I want to bodyboard.”
Spencer laughs. “Bathing suit first.” He points to the stairs. “And you need to wash your face. We don’t want any of the fish taking a liking to chocolate.”
“Good point.” She nods quickly. “I don’t want my face eaten off.”
She scurries up the stairs, leaving us completely alone.
It doesn’t normally feelthisawkward between us, but after last weekend and his confession, I long for the floor to open and swallow me whole.
I speed walk out of the kitchen and into his family room, but of course he follows.
He bought this house for you. He bought it for you to be a family. Helovesyou.
I want to tell my conscience to take a hike. I don’t need to be reminded of those facts right now.
And I hate to admit it, but despite the large size, the house is homey and is exactly the kind of home I would’ve picked for us. Spencer knows me well. There’s no denying that.
“I’m sorry for what I said last weekend.”
I jerk around at his voice and find him right behind me. I knew he was close, but not that close.
My nose scrunches. “Why?”
Sliding his hands in the pockets of his boardshorts, he shrugs. “It probably made you uncomfortable and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you that.”
“But it was the truth?” I press and he nods. “Spencer.” His name is both a cry and a plea, but I’m not sure for what.
