Page 98 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
It should’ve been the first thing I told Jameson when I got here—confessed immediately to my dirty filthy sins. But … it’s just a kiss, right? Nothing else is going to happen. There’s no point in creating a rift between him and Spencer. Spencer’salwaysgoing to be a part of my life because of Roe. The last thing I need is my boyfriend hating the father of my child.
I blow out a breath and vigorously scrub my scalp with shampoo.
If I keep letting these thoughts circle like they are, I’ll end up having a panic attack which won’t bode well for my already fraying mental state.
Rinsing out the shampoo, I grab my deep conditioner and make sure to comb it through the ends of my hair, so every strand is coated. I let it sit for five minutes while I shave and wash my body and then I rinse that out too. Shutting the water off, I grab my towel and wrap it around my body as I step out. I swipe my hand over the fogged glass. My eyes look wild, stressed. I need to get myself together before Jameson realizes something is wrong.
I brush out my wet hair and wring out as much of the water as I can. Leaving it down to dry, I apply my face toner and a serum before I change into a pair of shorts and t-shirt. Then I decide to brush my teeth. I’m stalling and it’s pointless because I have to face him at some point.
I ease the bathroom door open and the floors creak beneath my feet. Jameson sends a concerned smile way. “Are you okay? You were in there a while.”
“Yeah, fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
His brows furrow and I know I’ve done nothing to erase his concern. “Did you fight with Spencer or something?”
“Spencer?”Does my voice sound as high and squeaky as I think it does or is that just my guilt eating away at me?“No. We didn’t fight.”
“Hm,” he hums thoughtfully and rolls out the dough for our pizzas. “Do you want to help? I can handle these on my own if you want to relax.”
I shake my head. “I’d like to help.” The distraction will be good for me. The last thing I need is more time alone with my thoughts.
Jameson moves to his right to give me space to join him. I smile in thanks. “You can take that one.” He points to the already shaped dough. “Go ahead and start putting your toppings on and I’ll get mine ready.”
He’s laid out our typical choices. Fresh mozzarella, fresh tomatoes, and basil for me. Sausage, pepperoni, and bacon for him.
“This was a good idea,” I tell him, bumping his hip with mine.
“Yeah?” he questions, pushing his glasses up. “I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for, but I figure you can never go wrong with pizza.”
“Thank you for the flowers.” I nod toward the vase he fixed them in. Jameson brings me flowers often and it’s something I always appreciate, because it shows he’s thinking of me.
“You’re welcome.” He presses a kiss to my cheek, and I smile.
This is nice. This is what I needed—to spend time with Jameson and erase Spencer from my mind. The kiss was an accident. A total fluke. It’ll never happen again.
We finish adding our toppings and stick them in the already preheated oven. Jameson cages me in against the counter. Lowering his head, he skims his nose along the column of my throat. “I missed you today.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and lean up on my tiptoes. “I missed you, too.”
“Dance with me?” he asks softly with a smile that’s almost shy.
“We don’t have music,” I laugh.
His smile grows bigger, and he leans behind me and pokes at his phone. A moment later Hozier is playing softly around us. He settles his hands on my waist, and I leave mine around his neck. We sway to the music and it’s nice even if I feel a little silly. He rests his forehead against mine.
His eyes are warm and filled with love and it makes me feel like the most horrible person on the planet. I kissed my ex today. I rubbed myself against him and practically begged him for more.
He takes one hand from my waist and presses it to my cheek. “I can’t wait to call you my wife one day.”
I squish my eyes shut.
I’m going to hell. There’s no doubt about it.
CHAPTER 35
SPENCER
EIGHT YEARS AGO
