Page 101 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
She shakes her head. “No, have it.”
NowI’mblushing. I haven’t brought the topic of sex up to her, because it hasn’t been important to me.Harlowis important, not the act of sex. I’m very much aware that I’m two years older than her, that she’s only a junior in high school. Thelastthing I want to do is take advantage of her in that way. I know most guys would jump at the opportunity to have sex with their girlfriend, so maybe that makes me crazy, but Harlow is special in so many ways. I don’t want sex to ruin things.
“Harlow, I…”
“I know we’ve never talked about it before.” She drops her gaze, and I resist my desire to press my finger beneath herchin and have her look at me. If she needs privacy to sort her thoughts, I’m going to give that to her. “But I … we’ve been together a while now and it’ll be a year soon and…”
I find her rambling adorable and can’t help but smile.
Blowing out a breath, she says, “I want it to be you.”
I cup her cheek, pulling her in for a kiss. “Are you sure?”
She nods quickly. “I’ve thought about it a lot.” I’m still not so sure, and she must be able to read me, because she asks, “Do you not want me that way?”
Fuck.
It hurts that she would even think that.
“Harlow, of course I do.”
“Then what’s the problem? Is it … are you worried it won’t be good for you?”
I gape at her. “No, God, no. I’m worried aboutyou. I love you, Harlow. I don’t want to do anything you’ll regret.”
She freezes, mouth parted slightly. “You love me?”
Crap.This is not how I intended to tell her, but maybe it’s better it just slipped out and I didn’t have the chance to overthink it.
I wrap my fingers around the back of her neck, rubbing my thumb against the spot where her pulses races. “Yeah, baby. I love you.” A grunt flies out of me when she all but tackles and kisses me. I laugh into her kiss. When she releases me, I ask, “I take it this is a good thing?”
“A very good thing.” She brushes my hair back from my forehead. “I love you.”
Hearing the girl of my dreams tell me she loves me, means more than I could’ve ever anticipated. I swear I feel my heart double inside.
“Does this mean…?” she hesitates, batting her eyes at me
I shake my head. I know I must be crazy turning her down, but I want it to be perfect for her when it does happen. “Not yet.”
She pouts her bottom lip. “Spencer, seriously?”
“If you still want to in a few months then we’ll talk about it again.”
She heaves a sigh. “Fine. For my birthday?”
I think about it for a moment. It is months away like I asked for, so it seems like a good enough concession. “Okay,” I agree.
She smiles. “I won’t change my mind.”
She might, though, and that’s why I want to give her time. I know I’ll never have any regrets when it comes to loving her, and I want the same for her when it comes to me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she ever felt like I had taken advantage of or used her.
CHAPTER 36
HARLOW
“Hi!” My sister answers the video call with an exuberant smile. “What’s up?”
“Just missing you, so I thought I’d call,” I answer, turning to check on the pasta I have cooking on the stove.
