Page 50 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
He presses his tongue against his cheek, releasing a pent-up breath. “Believe me, I never forget you’re with him.”
There’s so much pain in those words that it feels like he’s punched me. Actually, I think it would hurt less.
He blows out another breath. “All I do is fuck things up with you and I don’t know why. I … forget I said anything. Please. I just … I want you in my life even if it’s not the way I always thought it would be.”
“Spencer…” I don’t know what to say, my mind is raging with confusion over my reaction to his touch and closeness.
“Let me take you back to your car. You’ll go home. And we’ll forget this conversation ever happened.”
I nod. “Okay.”
It’s easier to agree, to bury things down and pretend they don’t exist.
While he drives me back to my vehicle, I give an occasional glance in his direction, still aware of the heavy weight of our conversation.
CHAPTER 15
HARLOW
Surprisingly, the sex talk with Monroe went well and wasn’t nearly as awkward as I expected. I expected some uncomfortableness between Spencer and me after the other day, but he seemed normal, like it was completely forgotten for him, and he hasn’t felt the ghost of my touch like I have his.
He’s haunting more than just my memories now.
Jameson throws his arm around my neck, pulling me into his side and yanking me from my Spencer fueled thoughts. Guilt sours my stomach. “It’s just you and me for the rest of the weekend. What should we do?”
“I’m not sure. Do you have anything in mind?”
He scrunches his lips. “We could go to the bookstore and get dinner if you want.”
I bite my lip, trying to contain a laugh. “Is there a new comic book out that you want?”
“Babe.” He feigns a wince. “They’re not comic books. They’re graphic novels.”
He pinches my side playfully and I giggle. “Graphic novels, right. My bad.”
He lets his arm drop from my shoulder, but I barely have time to miss his touch before he’s taking my hand, entwining our fingers. We continue down the street and over a block to the small two-story bookstore he loves so much.
“Meet you at the front in thirty,” he says, already walking away in eagerness.
I don’t read often anymore. There’s not enough time between work, school, and being a mother, but I still find incredible comfort inside the store, surrounded by shelf after shelf of books.
I know Jae will probably be longer than thirty minutes. He tends to lose track of time in the store, but it never bothers me.
Heading to the back of the store and straight to the coffee shop I order an iced coffee to drink as I stroll around.
There’s a section of apparel and other odds and ends that are book related and that’s where I find myself. Picking up a coffee mug I shake my head in amusement.
I LIKE BIG BOOKS AND I CANNOT LIE.
I hold onto it to buy for Jameson, since I know he’ll get a kick out of it.
While I’m browsing, I also pick out a shirt for him that says; I closed my book to be here. For Monroe, I pick up a new set of books she’s been asking for. She’s only six, but she’s already a strong reader and I want to encourage that in her, so I always try to get her a new book here and there. Lucky for me, the whole series boxset is discounted.
By the time Jameson makes it to the front, my coffee is long gone, and I’ve been checked out for at least fifteen minutes and sitting in one of the oversized chairs near the front.
“Shit,” he curses, bag dangling from his hands. “How long have you been waiting?”
“Not long.”
