Page 72 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
I can tell she’s not sure about leaving me, but the bell rings and she’s forced to go.
My backpack is still in the classroom I fled from, and I know I should get up and go get it, but I can’t get my body moving.
Unshed tears burn my eyes as people pass by on their way to class.
I sit there until it’s silent and I’m basically alone again. A few minutes pass before someone stops in front of me.
I look up and find my teacher—Mrs. Kirks—with my backpack in hand.
“You can’t just run out of class, Spencer.” She puts my bag beside me on the bench.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
With a sigh, she sits down beside me with my backpack between us. “I know you’re going through a lot right now, so I’m not writing this up, but I would like you to talk to the guidance counselor.” I open my mouth to protest, but she gives me a look that tells me to shut my mouth. “When I was twelve, I lost my brother to a bike accident. It was horrible and it affected me deeply, it still does, so I know what you’re feeling. Talking to someone helps. I promise.”
“I don’t want to.”
She smiles softly, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Yeah, I didn’t either. I almost waited too long to talk to someone, but having someone you can talk to helps even when it doesn’t feel like it will. Grief is never easy to deal with, especially when you’re young.”
Fuck. The tears that I’ve tried so hard to hold back—not wanting to be caught crying on school grounds—fall free.
“It’s not right,” I choke. “He was too young. People our age don’t die.”
“No one is invincible,” she says softly. “Tragedies happen every day.”
I know what she’s saying is the truth, but I don’t want to admit that. I’m too caught up in the unfairness of it all.
“I’m so angry,” I whisper, something I haven’t dared admit out loud to even my mom.
“Yeah, I felt that way too. Blamed myself even though I wasn’t there.” She shakes her head free of memories probably best left unvisited. “Come on, grab your bag.”
“Where are we going?” I ask, shouldering my backpack.
“To the office.”
“I told you; I don’t want to talk to the guidance counselor.”
With a sigh, she says, “Well, let’s make an appointment with her for a week from now and if you still don’t want to go then that’s okay.”
“You won’t judge me if I cancel on her?” I ask softly, slowing my steps to stay behind her.
“No,” she answers and gives me a significant look. “But you’ll judge yourself.”
CHAPTER 22
HARLOW
Staring at my phone, I debate on sending the text or not.
“Stop being such a little bitch,” I mutter to myself, and type out the message. I press send and set my phone down beside the sink before I can overthink it. Willa is Spencer’s friend, it’s only right to let him know she’s coming into town. I know she’d love to see him, but she won’t push it for fear of making me uncomfortable. And Jasper is T.J.’s older brother, so I know Spencer would like to see him too.
Me: Hey, Willa’s in town with Jasper. I don’t know if you’re busy or not but if you want to come to dinner, you can. You probably have plans though since it’s your weekend without Roe.
God, now I’m thinking about him on a date with a stunning model or actress. Not that it’s any of my business or that I even care. I don’t. Me being jealous of him going on dates would be incredibly hypocritical of me.
My phone buzzes on the counter and I pick it up.
Spencer: No plans. I’d love to come if everyone’s okay with that.
