Page 74 of The Infiniteness of Yesterday
And I do—even if there’s no chance of me ever discussing this with him.
“Do you mind if I sit here?” Spencer asks, pointing to the empty seat to my right since Roe wants to sit with Willa and Jasper.
“Go for it.”
I’m pretty sure my voice sounded a few octaves too high.
He takes the seat and reaches over to pat Jasper on the shoulder. “It’s good to see you.”
“Good to see you, too, brother. Although, I see your ugly face on a billboard every day for your show.”
Spencer’s face reddens and he drops his gaze to the table. “Oh, man.”
“You’re successful. Nothing to be ashamed of.” Jasper slaps him on the back.
Jameson comes back out with filled glasses, smiling in my direction. My stomach dips, reminding me thathe’smy person and I shouldn’t be thinking about Spencer.
He sets a glass down in front of me and pulls his chair out to rejoin us. Leaning over, he kisses me, and I jump a little in surprise having not expected it.
Unbidden, my eyes go to Spencer and find him quickly looking the opposite way but there’s no mistaking the hurt on his face.
Jasper looks between all of us before his eyes focus on me and even though he doesn’t speak, his gaze seems to say,I see what your problem is.
“Thanks for the lemonade.” I grab the glass, slurping down a greedy gulp.
“You’re welcome.” He rubs my shoulder. “Your dad said he’s putting the burgers on in a few.”
Willa joins us back at the table after disappearing inside and Roe sprints behind her.
“Mom!” She cries at top volume. “After we eat can I get in the ocean?”
“If there’s still enough daylight left,” I concede, because frankly with Spencer so close I don’t have the energy in me to tell her no.
“Yay!” She throws her arms in the air and takes off back inside to where my parents are preparing everything. I offered to help—wealloffered to help—but they quickly shooed all of us outside and out of their way.
Willa laughs and leans against Jasper. Her diamond ring glints on her finger when she lays her hand against his chest. He looks at her with so much love and adoration. Willa deserves that—someone who looks at her like she’s their whole world.
“So,” Jasper begins, turning toward Spencer, “what’s up next for you? Anything you can share?”
His eyes slide to me before he addresses Jasper. “Things are looking good for a pretty big franchise, but I have a few more auditions to get through for them.”
“That’s awesome, man,” Jasper grins. “Never would’ve believed you’d turn out to be an actor, but you’re killing it.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it. I didn’t think I’d love it, but I do.”
He looks at me and there’s such deep sadness in his eyes that I have to shove away from the table.
“I have to pee,” I announce bluntly and all but sprint away.
I don’t have to pee, but I go to the bathroom anyway. Running cold water, I let it dampen my hands. Pressing my cooled fingers to the back of my neck I take several deep breaths.
I know I was doing a nice thing by inviting Spencer here today, but man am I regretting it. Lately, every time I see him it breaks my heart, because I see his pain written so plainly on his face. Maybe he used to hide it better, or maybe it was always there, and I was too blind to see it.
When I feel like I have better control of myself, I open the door.
“Fuck,” I curse, because Spencer’s right there.
“You seem upset,” he remarks, looking me over.
