Page 38 of Conform
“Like I told you, their horror stories slither all the way down to us.”
“You’re wrong,” I snapped.
“Am I? He’s hiding you. The only reason you’re in the clouds is because he’s got you hidden.”
“I’m not hiding anything,” I exclaimed, shoving my chair back. Anger coursed through my veins.
“You’re wearing that stupid lens.”
“You don’t understand.” A contract was how I survived. If I found joy in their beautiful places in the clouds while I continued surviving, that was mine alone to make amends for.
“Try me,” Hal challenged.
“This is what I am supposed to do. This is my role. I can cover my defect if that’s what’s required of me. I want more than this.”
“Right,” Hal said, stepping back, his hands fisted tightly at his sides. “You want more than this. Just like all the others. I should have known.”
My skin stretched too tight across my bones as I warped myself in an attempt to be understood—to be seen. Collin and the Elite were to judge me. I had always known that, but the judgment of the man in blue before me shredded me apart, leaving me fuming and wretched.
“Is it wrong to want more?” I asked, a note of desperation in my voice, filling the space he had just retreated from.
Hal raked his hands through his hair, sighing as he stared at the ceiling. “No. It’s not.”
“Then why are you acting like it is?” I demanded. I had never talked to another human so openly. I hated how it made me feel, the things it gave life to.
Hal blew out a long breath and shook his head. “This is clearly what you want. I should want this for you too.”
“Hal—” My Comm Device dinged several times.
“Life above calls,” he muttered, turning to leave.
“Wait, Hal—”
“Don’t worry about it. I was the one who said you rule my time. You made no such claims.” Hal knocked on the doorframe. “I’ll see you around.”
His eyes met mine one last time before he walked away. A lump in my throat choked me. I could chase him down, demand that he understand. This was the life for people like me.
I fell back into my chair, defeated. I had wanted to look at art with Hal. I looked up at the woman with her book and committed her beauty to memory before hittingdelete. I felt her demise in my soul. I blinked rapidly at the death sentence I had signed, the destruction of something beautiful and different I agreed to.
My Comm Device dinged again. I grabbed it, finding two messages from Collin.
Vincent and Helen reached out. We are dining at their living quarters tonight. Updating your MIND chip now. Sooner we get it out of the way the better. The Starlings will be expecting you. See you at 8:00.
My insides hollowed out. The second message read:
Hope you enjoyed the chocolates.
CHAPTER TEN
“GOOD EVENING, MS. EMELINE,”HAROLD GREETED ME STIFFLYfrom behind the stand a few hours later. He stared fixedly at the ground, his shoulders tight.
I extended my glowing wrist. “Is everything okay, Harold?”
“This way.” He took off down the hall without answering me. I hurried after him, my anxiety hot on my tail in the impenetrable silence. Harold held the door for me.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, unease thick upon my skin.
“I told you, I don’t want any trouble, Ms. Emeline.” He looked pointedly over my shoulder as I stepped into the black room. “She’ll be with you shortly.” He turned and fled.
