Page 96 of Conform
Lo shifted, leaning back, away from me, as her hand flew to her hair, twisting it. “Did you tell them about him?”
I shook my head. I hadn’t and yet Collin had still found out and Christopher was now dead. “The Illum told the Elite I was helping them.”
“Are you?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“No, I’m not helping them. They killed a man. The Elite have this group of men who wear green, called the Force. I saw them the other day outside the Sanctuary.”
Lo looked at me, twisting her hair wildly as she whispered, “Did they take offspring away?”
I nodded. “Did that happen to you?”
“Yes,” Lo said, her voice small.
“Lo, I am so sorry.”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Is Gregory helping the Illum?”
“I don’t know, but Gregory isn’t a bad person, Lo,” I assured her. I didn’t think he would ever care for Lo truly, but he seemed like a good person, despite what he said. Lo had a good Mate.
“Okay,” Lo said again. “I think I am going to get some sleep.”
After Lo left, I climbed into bed. My hand stretched out to the spot where Hal had slept all those days ago, and I thought about Hal’s safety, the people in the Underworld, Lo, Nora, Gregory, my contract, and someone out there who might be waiting for Christopher to come back.
I didn’t get much sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“TODAY IS THE NINTH DAY OF THE TENTH LUNAR CYCLE. TODAYwill be cloudy, with a high of thirty-eight degrees. You are currently in a Procreation Agreement with M17292834. In the Courting Phase,” Frida began the following morning. I stood by the boxes waiting for my meal, dressed in gray, exhausted from the dreams that had plagued me. “According to your most recent scans, you are on day twenty-one of your menstrual cycle. In your luteal phase. I have adjusted your nutrients accordingly to provide the best nutrition for your luteal phase.”
Frida droned on about my nutritional deficiencies and overall inadequacy but congratulated me on my optimal dopamine and oxytocin. I tuned her out while I ate my meal. I dumped the supplements into my hands, tracing the outline of each one.
Yesterday Frida claimed they had been altered to calm me. Why had the Reaper attacked the building containing them?
My oxytocin and dopamine levels were elevated, but I hadn’t taken the supplements yesterday. It didn’t make sense. What were these supplements really for? What did the rebellion know?
I turned them over in my hand as Frida finished her report. She didn’t mention anything about my MIND going off the grid yesterday. I breathed a sigh of relief. The lesson was another dance, but I was so distracted by what might be happening in the Underworld that I found it hard to enjoy it. After the lesson I threw on my coat, and with it, my anxiety returned.
Lo and I sat together on the way to work; for once, she was quiet. I wondered if that meant Gregory still hadn’t reached out, but I didn’t ask. At work, no one in dark green barged in to take me away for going to the Underworld. Collin didn’t message me. Hal didn’t show up. I went home at the end of my shift, but there was no news, and my nerves were in tatters.
Lo came up, and we discussed contracts a bit before she left. She seemed distracted, but so was I. I checked my Comm Device, but still nothing.
I dreamed of a long dark tunnel with a light at both ends, eerily quiet. I was running toward the light, yet never getting closer. My ragged breaths were the only noises until I heard my name whispered in the darkness. I ran harder, my footsteps reverberating through the tunnel, my name getting louder,louder—
I awoke drenched in sweat, utterly alone.
A WEEK PASSED IN A BLUR. I REMAINED IN THE DARK, NO WORDfrom either side, and fear was eating me alive. Each day, I returned to my living quarters at the end of my shift, and anxiety crawled in bed with me each night. Lo kept her distance, claiming she was tired, which suited me fine. I was in no mood for company. Sleep provided no reprieve from my fear. My exhausted mind urged me to bed each night only for the black tunnel to swallow me whole, my whispered name a haunting that left me reeling. I had hardly been able to eat or even focus on pressing thedeletebutton at work, any relief that I usually found from the art eluding me. I could only spiral, wondering helplessly whether the Illum had been successful in their raid of the Underworld, or if the rebels had indeed been as prepared as they had said. Even if they were, I knew the Illum would be as well. My wrist still glowed gold, so I supposed that meant I was still in the contract, and Collin was alive.
The only deviation in the monotony of my existence had been several lessons preparing me for my menstrual cycle. The supplements discontinued our cycle while we waited for contracts. Once approved, our cycle returned. Frida had made its impending arrival sound insignificant. She had been wrong. I spent my two days off huddled in a ball while my cycle’s return leveled me, the cramping in my guts unbearable.
On the sixteenth day of the tenth lunar cycle, I turned the corner to my office. I was still in the menstrual phase, no longer doubled over from cramps, thankfully.
“Hey, Moonlight.”
Starburst eyes sparkled at me. Relief flooded me, finding Hal in my chair, his dark blond locks disheveled, falling into his face. He half-smiled, revealing his dimple.
The dark cloud that had followed me all week finally lifted. I dropped my bag to the ground, moving toward him, but stopped as he gingerly made to stand, grasping my desk.
“Hal! Are you okay?”
