Page 100 of Conform
I crammed the trays into the second box before I opened the first box and grabbed her tray of mush and supplements. We were never given supplements with evening meals. I snatched the supplements from the tray.
Someone from the dinner had gone behind the Illum’s back. Someone had told the Reaper about the Minors before I could. My head started spinning again.
The Reaper knew. Why hadn’t he already stopped this? Perhaps because he was injured—barely able to walk . . . I didn’t know anymore.
I handed Lo the tray. She stared at it, then ate three bites before dragging her feet to her bed and falling into it. I followed her over. “Lo, in the morning, don’t take the supplements. Can you hear me?”
Lo opened her eyes, finding mine. Behind the haze, desperation stared at me. “Why . . . what did I do wrong, Emeline? They said—you . . . why Gregory won’t give me a contract,” she finished incoherently.
“Lo, I don’t know. It’s not important. Right now, I need you to tell me you won’t take the supplements. They put something in them to make you like this.”
“Not important . . . you have Illum. Your future set,” Lo slurred groggily, her blinks becoming longer.
“No one’s future is set. Look, Lo, we can figure out Gregory, but you have to stop taking the supplements.”
She mumbled something incoherent before her breaths began to even out. Part of me wanted to stay with her to ensure she was okay, but I needed to scan. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself—to her. I would come up right after curfew ended tomorrow. Hopefully, she wouldn’t have had her morning meal before that. I tossed a blanket over her sleeping form before I left.
Sleep evaded me as I tossed and turned in my bed, my thoughts infecting me with fears, until the unknown won, distorting my grip on reality.
I searched for my old dream of spinning in a pretty gown in the arms of an Elite man that would save me—desperate for its simplicity, the hope it had once given me. The more I dug, the more out of reach it became, solidifying its fragility and deceit. It didn’t exist—it never would. Too much had changed in the world—in me.
Sleep claimed me and with it came a dark tunnel, my whispered name—a haunting, urging me onward or trying to hold me back. I didn’t know.
In what felt like minutes, I awoke to Frida prompting me to scan. I made my way over to the scanner and dragged myself toward the three black boxes, hopping onto my counter and resting my head against the wall as Frida began her report. I wished she would tell me when this whole menstruation thing would end, but she didn’t. I didn’t trust the supplements anymore, but I missed the ones that kept my cycle away. I sighed, closing my heavy eyelids.
“Your levels are all improving dramatically, Emeline.”
I whirled toward Frida. She was smiling.
“I am pleased to see our plan is working for you. I will contact the Illum with this wonderful news.”Please don’t,I thought. “Enjoy your morning meal, and then I will begin our lesson.”
The black box dinged, and I retrieved my meal, scarfing it down. I ignored the container of supplements. I hadn’t taken any since the day before the dinner.
“Today, we will review several of the dances we have learned. Enjoy, Emeline.”
The rest of the lesson flew by too quickly, each step and spin siphoning my frustration and clearing my head.
The lesson ended with the dance that was becoming my favorite. The dance was faster, with bigger swells in the music and countless spins. When the music ended, I was sweaty and panting, but for a moment I felt lighter.
I opened the container of supplements, staring at the various shapes and colors of the pills. I would never take them again if I could help it.
I could give Hal the supplements. Maybe he would know what was in them.
I dumped the supplements into my white clutch, alongside the cuff and the knife.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
THE DAY BELOW PASSED AT A SLOW PACE. I RECEIVED NO MESSAGES. I didn’t really expect Hal to show up, not with how much pain he had been in yesterday, but a part of me was still disappointed each time I looked at my doorway and I didn’t find him leaning against the frame, half-smiling at me. I reminded myself he was injured and needed rest. Still some part of me just assumed he would always show up regardless of the consequences.
When my shift finally ended, I found Lo in the atrium and was relieved to see that her complexion had more color. She had dark circles under her eyes, but her gaze was clear and her hair was clean and braided neatly.
“How are you feeling?” I asked. She hadn’t answered my knock this morning, and I hadn’t seen her on the way to work, and I had worried about her. Around us, Minors in gray scuttled about, their gazes dull.
“Much better. I’m actually hungry,” Lo said, and her smile reached her eyes before fading. “They’re actually drugging us,” she whispered, shaking her head. “How did you figure it out?”
“I didn’t realize at first. I stopped taking mine after the dinner. My HI said something about changing them to calm me. I thought initially it was only mine because of what happened at the dinner. Yesterday I figured it out.”
“So no one told you about them, not even Collin. Neither did your birth brothers?”
