Page 28 of To Marry and to Meddle
“Oh,” she said, and paused for a moment, considering. “I—I suppose I assumed as much. You don’t seem the type to seduce eligible ladies and then refuse to marry them.”
“A touching vote of confidence in my character,” he said dryly. “But my point is, I don’t want this to be unpleasant for you.”
She frowned. “Why should it be unpleasant?”
“Because it’s your first time.”
“Does one have to practice it an awful lot to come to like it?” This was mystifying, and certainly not at all the impression she’d gotten from Violet and Diana—indeed, Diana and Lord Willingham had not seemed to require much time at all to begin enjoying one another’s company quite enthusiastically, despite the fact that Emily knew it had been several years since Diana had last engaged in marital relations.
“Well, no,” he said. “Or, at least, men don’t.”
“But women do?”
“I don’t know. I believe so. That’s why I’m mentioning it.”
“Well, what is the issue? Do you not know how to ensure that I enjoy myself?” This was disappointing—while Diana and Violet had at times been a trifle confusing in terms of the wisdom they had imparted, her overall impression from them had been that bedsport was something to look forward to.
“I certainly do!” Julian said, all outraged pride. “But I just want to warn you that since you’re a virgin, it might… hurt.”
“Hurt!” Emily crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling very, very unclothed, and wishing that Julian had thought to start this conversation when she was still wearing her gown. “Why should it hurt?”
This was not at all in keeping with what her friends had told her.
“Because it sometimes does, the first time,” he said. “Or so I’ve been told.”
“Sometimes, but not always?” she asked.
“Er,” he said. “I believe so?”
“You are not inspiring much confidence at the moment, I must say,” she said a bit huffily.
“Jesus Christ,” he muttered, rubbing his hand over his face in frustration. “Would it have been better to say nothing at all? I didn’t want to hurt you unexpectedly—I brought up the possibility so that you’d know to tell me if you wanted me to stop.”
“WellnowI’m just going to be waiting for it to start hurting!” she said. “How am I possibly supposed to enjoy myself?”
He sighed a long-suffering sort of sigh, which Emily did not think was at all fair, considering that he was currently offering an impression of marital relations that implied thatshewas the one who was about to be suffering. “I suppose I should merely be grateful you’re expecting to enjoy it at all, and not weeping and cowering in the corner, as I feared you might.”
“I have very informative friends,” she said primly. “I’m not as innocent as I look.”
His mouth quirked in a crooked smile. “You’ll be a lot less innocent in a few minutes, if you ever stop interrogating me.”
“I’ll stop interrogating you once you offer me some sort of assurance—”
“I am usually considered rather good at this, you know,” he said.
“Do you always start off with warnings of pain and suffering?” she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
“No,” he said, looking offended. “Because I’ve never—”
“Gone to bed with a virgin, yes, I know,” she said impatiently. It was astonishing, really, what wonders righteous indignation could work. She didn’t feel remotely nervous anymore. “Is this some sort of attempt to set my expectations low?”
“Good God in heaven,” he murmured. “No!”
“You seem to be referencing our heavenly father an awful lot for a man who told me not ten minutes ago that God had no place in the bedchamber,” she reminded him.
“I don’t think I’ve mentioned God as much in the past ten years as I have in the past ten minutes,” he said, sounding exasperated.
“You have only yourself to blame for that,” she said. “On both counts.”
