Page 85 of A Star is Scorned
The next part seemed to happen in slow motion as Rallo leapt from his perch on the pulpit.
“Rallo, no!” Livvy cried, unable to stop herself. She sprang up and reached after him, but all her hand grasped was air. The monkey seemed to have a singular purpose, landing atop the tulle pastry of a veil piled on Rhonda’s head and beginning to tear it to shreds.
Flynn’s look of shock shifted as he burst into laughter, doubling over while Rallo continued to terrorize his bride-to-be.
Rhonda screamed and clawed at her head, causing Rallo to tug on her veil and push it backwards before hopping back to Flynn’s shoulder. Flynn, still laughing, reached for Rhonda, trying to prevent her from falling back as the weight of her veil pulled her down. Instead, he fell with her and landed on top of her, tangling in the layers and layers of her gown and veil. Rallo crouched atop them, grabbing snatches of tulle and lace and throwing them into the air.
In horror, Livvy watched this all unfold. This was so far from the plan, she had no idea what to do.
The entire church was in an uproar. Except for Flynn’s mother, who was standing to the side laughing hysterically. Stanley Devlin had picked up the golden crucifix from the altar and was now swinging it wildly at Rallo. He missed and instead, as the monkey ducked, Devlin collided with Dash, who was also trying to intervene.
“Bannkkkkksss,” Devlin bellowed as Dash fell to his knees, clutching his gut in pain. Joan rushed to help her husband.
Flynn looked apoplectic as Devlin raised the crucifix again,apparently trying to brain the monkey. “Don’t you fucking dare,” he cried, struggling to extricate himself from the dress and tangling himself further.
But he needn’t have worried. With one look at the crucifix being held as a weapon, Rallo bared his teeth and jumped onto Devlin’s face. The monkey held on to the man’s ears and dug his legs into the barely healed wound on his face. Livvy would have felt bad for Devlin if he didn’t deserve it so much.
Livvy looked around desperately. The guests were screaming in confusion. Some of them had stood and made a run for the exit. She had to stop this, but if she tried to go back down the stairs, she could end up crushed in the crowd. Dash was still out of commission, with Joan trying to get him to sip from the chalice of communion wine as he lay crumpled on the floor.
Her eye caught on the green fabric hanging next to the pulpit. She looked up, noting that it hung from some type of metal rod at the top of the church and reached nearly to the floor. It was better than nothing. She grabbed it and pulled it back, creating as much momentum as she could in the tiny area she had to work with.
Climbing onto the edge of the pulpit, she quickly made the sign of the cross with her right hand. The only time she’d ever prayed and meant it was the night of the car accident. So, she wasn’t exactly devoutly religious. But, hey, it couldn’t hurt.
Livvy swung forward in the air, clinging to the material, and her stomach plunged as she heard the fabric tear. She looked up and watched as one edge of the banner unraveled from where it was clasped to the rod. She clung to the ripping fabric, descending to the ground at an angle. Miraculously, she landed on her feet. Maybe she should consider going to church more often.
She grabbed Flynn and tried to drag him backwards, away from Rhonda, who was crying and flailing on the ground. “Sister,please!” he bellowed, before he snapped his head back and made eye contact. “Livvy? What are you doing here? And why are you dressed like a nun?”
“I’ll explain later.” She tugged on him again, heading back in the direction of Dash and Joan, who were now leaning against the altar.
“I thought we had a backup plan,” Livvy muttered to Joan.
“Not for this.”
The crowd was now climbing over one another, racing to get to the back doors of the church. There was no way they could escape that way. If it wasn’t such a disaster, Livvy would have laughed. All of this over a little monkey?
“What is the meaning of this?” Devlin blustered as he gripped Rhonda under her arms and tried to heave her to her feet. But Rhonda did nothing to help him, continuing to blubber on the floor incoherently.
Rallo had jumped off Devlin’s face and was playing in Rhonda’s skirts, upending the fabric, making it hard for her to see what was happening. Each time Devlin tried to shoo the monkey away, Rallo hissed at him and snapped his teeth.
“Someone get rid of that thing,” he yelled. He raised his foot, trying to stomp on Rallo, but the monkey sprang away to the top of the altar. Instead, Devlin came down on Rhonda’s leg buried under her skirts.
She shrieked in pain. “You idiot!”
“Like you’re helping!” he yelped.
Rhonda slugged her uncle, making contact with his groin, and he doubled over in pain.
“Stupid bitch,” he growled. “I should never have forced Banks to marry you.”
The comment only made Rhonda cry harder. He hauled backto slap her, and this time, Rallo did bite him, grabbing his hand and chomping down on his finger until Devlin howled in pain. The priest was cowering under his chair in the corner.
Devlin shrieked and started spinning in a circle, trying to propel Rallo to let go, but the monkey only bit down harder. Flynn’s mother was now doubled over, tears of laughter streaming down her face. At least someone was enjoying themselves.
Suddenly, emerging from behind them in the nave, Judy ran out, slightly breathless.
“Where did you come from?” Livvy and Flynn burst out in unison. Judy was supposed to be waiting in the getaway car, far from any potential run-in with Devlin.
“Never mind, I’ve got the car out back. Let’s go.”
