Page 7 of Worship
Me: Same difference.
My jaw is tense as I toss the phone back to the soft mattress, exhaling harshly.She’s more trouble than she’s worth.
Ella’s nanny peeks her head in as she knocks on my door, interrupting my thoughts. “Can I take her off your hands?”
“Yes, thank you. I’m being held hostage by a six-month-old,” I joke.
Rose enters my bedroom and lifts her off me, slowly rocking Ella as she carries my daughter out. Her timing is outstanding because my phone begins to ring just as she closes the door behind them.
“Shelby,” I answer curtly.Here we go.
“I don’t want to fight with you.” Her voice makes me sick.
Everything about her is a lie, including that statement. She’s prepared to do whatever she has to do to get what she wants.
“No, you’re worried I’ll cancel your credit cards.”
She huffs her discontent, and I sit up in my bed, delighted by her contempt for me.
“Luca, can we just call a truce? It doesn’t have to be this way.”
Yes, it does.
“I gave you the keys to the kingdom because you had a winning lottery ticket. And you bit the hand that fed you. Blow jobs can’t help you now. Plus, your mouth is a sketchy place.”
“I would prefernotto have my face rubbed in it,” she bites back, clearly irritated at my reference to her infidelity.
“That’s not what it looked like, love.”
“Jesus, as if you were faithful or committed to me at all. I’m just some whore that you got knocked up, Luca!”
I never judged Shelby for how we met at Church; those insecurities are hers to own. But I won’t reassure her either, now. And with how angry I am, I may just exploit them.
“I upheld our vows, Shelby. Loyalty isn’t somethingI’vestruggled with over the last year.” My voice is condescending.
The silence on the phone has me wishing she’d feel some kind of remorse.Yeah, I’d like to see her carry her shame for a while.
“Luca, I swear I didn’t know. I always assumed. Be real—it never felt like you loved me. You’ve never even said it.”
My jaw twitches. I gave her more than I’ve ever been given. I want her to feel what being made a fool of truly feels like. I want to rub her face in it.
“You’re right. I don’t love you. How could I? I was obligated because the fucking condom broke. But you asked me to try. You begged me to try. And that was my fucking gift, Shelby.” My words are like tiny little cuts slashing at her thick skin.
“How was I supposed to know, Luca?”
“You know the man I am. You know where I come from. You know who my family is. You of all people know the kind of code I live by. Maybe that’s why you sought me out.” Shelby was a regular at Church and has quite a taste for men with more “flexible” morals.
Her fake cries jumble her words.
“I said I was sorry. I was scared and pregnant, and you have everything. I had nothing. What the fuck did you expect?”
“Poor little beggar. If I knew you were so comfortable on your knees, I would’ve kept you there.”
The tears stop. Full fucking stop. The corners of my mouth pull upward, validated that she’s one big goddamn lie.
“Go fuck yourself. Tell me how to make this shit end. What do you expect from me now, Luca?”
“I expected the same thing you asked of me. You took from me, and now you have to pay it all back.” I sneer.
