Page 142 of Vicious Little Snakes
My eyes squeeze shut, wanting to make it all stop—the anger, the sadness, the self-hatred. I just want it to stop. Because this is what I do. I ruin everything and everyone.
Strong hands turn me around as his beautiful face stares down at my tear-stained cheeks.
Please don’t hate me, Liam.I don’t mean to be myself so often.
“Carebear. What the fuck is going on? Talk to me.”
“You’ll hate me. And I just wanted one more minute of you loving me.”
“I could never hate you. That’s impossible.”
If he realized that I’m about to win this challenge, he would’ve never made such a bold statement. I take a step back from his hands, lifting my chin because there’s no point in looking pitiful when I don’t deserve the pity.
“That woman. The one in the store. That was Chairwoman Whitney. As in Tabitha Whitney—head of the International Debutante Ball. She was informing me that I received my ticket today. I did it, Liam. I’m in.”
His face softens, a smile gracing me.
“That’s amazing, Carebear—”
I hold up my hand, cutting in, “She heard you, Liam, and reminded me that a girl is only as good as her affiliations.”
He blanches. And I feel like the terrible person I am. His face drops to the floor for only a moment before he looks up, colder, crossing his arms over his chest. I’m happy he’s protecting himself—nobody deserves what I’m about to say.
“I love you, Liam—” I begin to say, looking to the side for a moment.
He takes my chin between his fingers, pulling my face back to his.
“You’re a lot of things, Caroline. A coward isn’t one. Let me finish for you… But I’m a liability? Is that what you’re going to say?”
The silence stretches out as his hands leave my face, but my eyes stay on his. And then I finally say the thing that will break us.
“Yes.”
He blows out a harsh burst of air, hands coming to his head. I step back away, needing space from him to say what I have to.
“The worst part of that statement is that for a moment, I hated you. Because you became another horrible Sophie’s choice I had to make to crawl my way up this fucking social ladder. But the good news is that I hate myself more.”
“Why?” he demands, shoving his hands inside his pockets. “Tell me why you hate yourself more.”
My head shakes because I don’t want to answer or acknowledge the profound dark truths that hide behind my eye rolls and faux indifference.
Liam pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, roughly letting it glide out before speaking.
“Tell me. You owe me that much.”
I grab my wrist, rubbing the scar, not knowing how to answer. Liam steps closer, placing his hand on the counter.
“Tell me, Caroline.”
I shake my head again, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks. Liam’s hand smacks the counter as his voice punches through the silence, “Tell me why, Caroline.”
My shoulders jump, tears bursting off my lashes as I blink.
“Because I love you,” I scream.
Cries take over, muddling the rest of my words, “Because I fucking love you always.”
He walks toward me, but I shake my head. “Stop. You deserve better than me, Liam. Survival will always be my default. I hate myself for letting the ‘choice’ be a ‘choice.’ Because, in the end, it’s always you. But every goddamn time, I have to stop and remind myself that—you’ll resent me a little bit more untilwearen’t anymore.”
