Page 83 of Vicious Little Snakes
I silent laugh moves my chest as I take another drag and throw the cigarette out.
“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Liam
Ionly slept because my body forced me into it. There are three times in my life when I’ve felt altered, known that a decision I made would leave me forever changed.
Once when I placed myself between Grey and our sixth-grade teacher. The other when I stood outside a door watching Caroline fuck someone else.
And now.
Nowfeels like the worst time. This time, I don’t know if I’ve changed for the good or the bad. The ceiling feels like it’s coming down on me as I stare up, thinking a thousand thoughts.Did I do the right thing? Should I run her down and say, “fuck it” let’s just be together?
I already know the answer because nothing’s changed. It doesn’t matter that I said I was sorry for the million little wounds I’ve inflicted. We’re still at the place we began. I’m still a guy who can’t choose his future or tell the girl of my dreams that I loved her when it mattered.
But saying the word makes it something real that I have to then do—and how can I? How am I the man she needs when I can’t even stop myself from hurting her.
Caroline deserves everything, not just bits and pieces I forfeit as I stumble around fucking everything up. My door swings open, jolting me to sit on my bed as my mom breezes in, heading straight for my curtains.
“Mom, “I grumble. “Why? Just leave me in the dark.”
“Time to rise and shine, little prince.”
The light assaults my eyes as she sweeps the fabric open, turning to smile at me. “Darling, it’s noon.”
Rubbing my head, a yawn muffles my words, “I’ve been awake, but I’m staying in bed. All day.”
She’s staring at me, arms crossed, and I don’t like the look on her face.
“What’s wrong?” she levels with narrowed eyes.
Great, this isn’t what I need right now. I don’t have it in me to have a fucking kumbaya with Babe. No way.
“Nothing.” When she frowns, I add, “I swear. The party took it out of me.”
“Mm-hmm,” she hums.
I huff a laugh, “Come on, it’s Sunday. Leave me be, Warden. I’ll come down later, and you can feed me and tell me all about your benefit next week.”
I lay back, pulling the covers over my head, adding, “‘Kay?”
But she makes no attempt to leave, walking over to my bed instead, and sitting.
“Are you sure that’s all there is to it?” Her voice is quiet. “Because you look like shit, darling, and you’re sulking.”
Fuck. Can I get one day off from everything? Why does she have to know me so well? I raise my voice from under the covers, trying to derail this fucking conversation with humor.
“Babe Brooks. Did you just say ‘shit’? Language. What would your ladies that lunch think?”
“Liam. Look at me.”
I pull the blanket down and let out a breath, but she pats my cheek. “Are you and Donovan fighting again? Because this is a lot of déjà vu. Or is it something else?”
Who am I not fighting with?
Shaking my head, I lie, “Mom, I’m tired. Seriously.”
I can tell she doesn’t believe me, but she knows I won’t tell her. The thought of how she’d look at me, if she knew what I did, the disappointment she’d have—it feels crippling.
