Page 41 of Silent Dust
His gaze softened further, and he leaned closer, almost instinctively. “You’re not alone,” he murmured, gently pressing a kiss to her temple. “You’re home. I’m here.”
A flicker of longing crossed her face—a yearning she didn’t even want to admit. She wanted to tell him everything—the fears, the doubts, how she’d felt during the mugging, this terrible emptiness she couldn’t seem to shake. But her voice caught, silent and trembling on her lips.
Instead, Stephan reached out and squeezed her hand gently. “How about I take that shower, then we just… talk? No rush, just us,” he suggested softly, his eyes searching her face.
A fragile little smile tugged at her lips. “I’d like that,” she whispered. “I— I miss us like this.”
He squeezed her hand once more. “Me too. I’ll be right back.”
He moved to stand, and her eyes followed him, her heart pounding—each breath feeling half-hope, half-fear. This moment was delicate, fragile enough she felt she might shatter beneath her own insecurities. But beneath all that, a fierce craving simmered—longing for connection, for closeness, for the strength to shed these fears and just be held.
“Stephan,” she called softly, her voice trembling in the quiet, vulnerable space between them. When he paused and looked back at her, she whispered, “Can… can we talk after? About everything?”
He hesitated, studying her face in that quiet, seeking way. “Of course. Whenever you’re ready.”
The door clicked softly shut behind him, and she was left alone with her racing thoughts. Her mind spun—a storm of fears about her weakness, her doubts about her worthiness, and that deep, aching hunger for… just him. Her fingers found the pillow, trembling as she traced its fabric, silent tears threatening to fall.
How much should she reveal? How much could she afford to? But the hunger for closeness—the silent hope—and thatfragile, burning desire to find her strength in him kept her leaning into vulnerability. Just a little.
And so, softly, she whispered into the empty room, her voice trembling with longing: “Please stay… I need you more than I can say.”
Flora laid in the bed, her heart racing with a mix of emotions. She felt vulnerable but safe, knowing he would be back soon. The warmth of his love wrapped around her like a comforting blanket, and she took a deep breath, ready to embrace the moments ahead. They had a lot to discuss, and she hoped they could navigate the complexities together, hand in hand.
But as she lay in bed, the soft sheets felt both inviting and alien. The comfort of home was overshadowed by the weight of her insecurities. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had lost a part of herself during her ordeal. The vibrant woman who had tackled life with fierce determination now felt like a shadow of her former self.
Flora’s thoughts spiraled as she recalled her recent struggles. She had always prided herself on her independence, a force of nature who had managed to raise three children while pursuing her advanced education, all while Stephan was deployed. But now, that fierce spirit seemed to have faded, replaced by someone weak and broken. The tears began to pool in her eyes again, and she felt the familiar sting of shame.
As she tried to relax, she felt a familiar weight settle in her chest, a suffocating reminder of her perceived failures over the past two months. With Stephan in the shower, she felt an overwhelming urge to be near him, to feel his presence and draw strength from it. But the insecurities that had been festering in her heart made it hard to breathe.
Flora’s heart pounded in her chest as she approached the bathroom door. Tonight, she felt like she was unraveling—herinsecurities clawing their way to the surface. She hesitated, then pushed the door open just enough to see inside.
The room was dim, steam curling from the shower. And there he was, the muffled sound of water and, faintly, the quiet rhythm of him—unmistakably lost in his own moment of release.
For a moment, her breath hitched, her mind spinning with fear and shame.Is this what I am now? Not enough?Her stomach knotted. She didn’t understand why her chest was squeezing so tight—why her heartbeat was echoing with anger and hurt at once.
“Stephan!” she yelled, voice trembling with emotions that she didn’t understand.
His head jerked up in surprise, water streaming down his face as he turned towards her. His eyes widened. “Flora?—?”
“What the hell are you doing?” she shouted, voice sharp, vehement. Tears she hadn’t realized she was holding back spilled over. “How could you?” Her voice cracked, raw with pain. “After everything? How could you do this?”
He froze, breath caught in his throat, confusion clouding his face. “What? Flora—wait, I didn’t mean?—”
“You think I don’t see?” she cut him off, voice rising uncontrollably. “You think I don’t notice? You’re just… you’re just—” she trembled, words choking her. “You’re just filling the void, aren’t you? Because I’m not enough anymore, huh?”
He stood, water dripping down his shoulders, struggling to understand. “Flora—” he started, reaching out in confusion, but she waved him off, her voice thick with tears and rage.
“You think I don’t belong here? That I’ve become some burden you’re too tired to deal with?” Her voice broke into a sob. “Maybe I’m not enough to keep you happy. Maybe I never was.”
Without waiting for his reply, she spun around and stormed out of the bathroom, flinging the door shut behind her. Her chest heaved as she collapsed onto the bed, curling into a ball,clutching her pillow. From the hallway, she heard the shower’s roar fade to silence, but all she could feel was the ache pounding in her chest.
She didn’t understand her own tears. Her mind was a fog—confused, angry, and overwhelmed. Her insecurities roared louder than her rationale. She’d never felt so lost, so unworthy. She thought she was strong enough, but in that moment, she felt like she’d crumpled completely.
Sobbing hard, she buried her face in the pillow, her body trembling. Why was she so upset? She didn’t know. It didn’t make sense, but it didn’t matter. All she knew was that she was drowning in her own feelings—and Stephan was on the other side of the door, painfully unaware of the storm inside her.
26 - BEAR
Stephan hesitated for a moment,torn between the instinct to chase after her or give her space. The sound of her soft sobs reaching through the closed door pulled at him harder than anything else. Without drying off further, he silently pushed the door open and stepped into the room, careful not to make a sound.
