Lorenzo glared at him. “You want to try again? After this fiasco?”
“It’s not that bad,” Charlie said, waving one of his arms experimentally. It instantly popped. “See?”
“You have a death wish,” Lorenzo said flatly.
“Well, I’m hanging out with the undead, aren’t I?” He nudged Lorenzo’s leg with his under the counter. They were solid enough now to do that, at least.
Lorenzo was glaring at him like he couldn’t decide whether to be annoyed or turned on. Charlie’s heart fluttered.
A moment later the front door slammed, and Rachel joined them in the kitchen, looking first-date cute. Charlie perked up as soon as he saw her. “How was it?”
“Meh,” she said, putting her clutch on the counter. “Maybe next time.”
Charlietsked and shook his head, but Lorenzo frowned. “You’re giving him another shot?”
“She means next time with someone new,” Charlie told him.
He waited for Rachel to chime in, and looked up just in time to catch her flinch. “Rachel,” he said, in his best not-angry-just-disappointed voice.
Before she could respond, Isolde joined them. Rachel stiffened. “Oh. Hi.”
“Hello,” Isolde said calmly. Peering at Lorenzo and Charlie, she said, “Did you know you’re not fully in our dimension?”
“Yeah, it’s wearing off,” Charlie said, shrugging his shoulder pointedly and making it pop.
“No way,” Rachel said, coming over to poke at him. “What happened?”
Charlie told the story, and he didn’t even mind when Lorenzo jumped in at the best part to tell the punchline they’d workshopped in the car, because he did it so well. He glanced at Charlie when the girls laughed, and Charlie couldn’t look away. He wanted to live in Lorenzo’s smile. He was getting addicted to it.
When they’d finished the story, Isolde nodded solemnly and said, “A harrowing tale.”
Rachel snorted. “A harrowing tale,” she said, smiling. “That’s funny.”
Isolde narrowed her eyes at her. “How is it funny?”
Rachel’s face went slack with alarm. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said. “It was a—a good turn of phrase. Really.”
Isolde continued to glare at her. “Well, hopefully it wears off soon,” Lorenzo said.
“Yes, and more importantly,” Charlie said, turning back to Rachel, “don’t go out with this guy again.”
“Guy?” Isolde asked.
“We really—don’t...” Rachel said, squirming. “It’s—”
Charlie cut her off, explaining, “Rachel had amehdate and wants to give him a second chance.”
“Are you okay with us talking about...dating things?” Lorenzo asked Isolde. “Things potentially related to...sex?”
Isolde drew herself up. “Yes. I am.” Turning to Rachel, she said, slowly and diplomatically: “And...ah...I agree with Charlie that if this person does not please you, you should look elsewhere. Because you are a nice, attractive human host for a poltergeist, and you deserve a fitting mate.”
Rachel was blinking rapidly. “Um,” she replied.
“And you’re here,” Isolde added. “Which means that this person didn’t tempt you to give in to carnal lust.”
Rachel had frozen completely. “So,” Isolde said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a bad sign, right?”
Rachel exploded. It sounded kind of like a pillow goingwhump, and the next moment the entire kitchen was covered in cobwebs. As Charlie started to blink his eyes back open, he saw Lorenzo and Isolde picking cobwebs out of their hair and brushing them off their clothes, but Rachel was gone. “Rachel?” Lorenzo called out. The webbing on his sleeves was starting to disintegrate already, fading back out of reality as soon as it moved.