Page 39 of Captivating the Countess
She turned abruptly. “I do notexperimentwith haunts. I am not fanciful, like your sisters. I am a practical person and prefer logic and order. Bookkeeping and ghosts don’t correlate. I have read about manifestations, of course. One must study one’s gift. My gift does not enlighten me as others do. It is singularly useless.”
“Your ability to communicate with the supernatural is only useless if you do not use it.” They’d reached the point where Rain had told his sister he refused to go. But after this evening, what choice did he have? If she could help his father...
Bell sighed and let the drapery fall back over the window. “I do not know how to hold a séance. I think it unwise to even try while you have guests. But I will talk with your sisters, if you wish. I do not mean to be intractable. I appreciate all you’ve done for me. I simply dislike disappointing you and your family—or worse yet, somehow harming them.”
“Let my family make their own decisions. It is you who concerns me. If there is any chance that a spirit will cause you harm...” She was possibly endangering herself by volunteering to experiment for his father’s sake. He did not know of a single woman so generous.
Rain couldn’t bear it any longer. He took this courageous, unselfish woman in his arms, savored her soft curves, the scent of honey and lavender, the reality that was Bell. Not his steward, not Lady Craigmore, not the countess—justBell, the woman he wanted beyond all reason.
She didn’t protest his action but turned her face up to him, revealing an expression almost as desperate as his own. “This is what I need. I needyou.”
Bell feareda spirit had possessed her for her to say such a thing, but the words were truth. The marquess had steadfastly kept his distance, offered her heart’s desire, requested nothing in return... And she’d felt his loneliness and hunger and despair. How could she not respond with her own honesty?
His embrace broke through the armor of prim efficiency that had guarded her soft heart for so long. She needed distance to maintain her shield, but Rain destroyed any chance of that. His kiss, when it came, melted any further hope of saving herself.
She couldn’t pretend this was a dream. Rainford’s mouth on hers was hot and demanding, and she now knew exactly what he wanted. When she parted her lips to let him in, he crushed her so close, she could feel that part of him she’d seen in his bath. She’d read the books. She wasn’t entirely innocent.
She was just unprepared. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she clung to him, desiring him, wanting what he wanted, knowing they couldn’t have it.
Finally, she had to pull away and bury her face against his cravat, letting her tears stain its spotlessness.
He didn’t press her. He stroked her back, held her close, and didn’t protest her inconsistency. “I know,” was all he said.
“You should find a new steward,” she told him, burying the words in his chest. “This will never work.”
“Let us take one day at a time. I think you were sent here for a reason. Let us explore that first. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. Shall I keep my distance?” His voice was hoarse and sounded as if it had been torn from the depths of hell.
She shook her head uncertainly. “Not if a bond between us is necessary to save your father. I know that’s why we’re here, that it is what you want even more than you want me. We are both in untenable positions.”
“Don’t ever believe I don’t want you!” He kissed her hair. “But I refuse to take advantage of ghostly pressure or the circumstances. We need to think clearly about what is best.”
Bell laughed ruefully. “Which is probably why neither of us will ever marry until we’re old and gray.”
He grimaced. “The price of responsibility, I fear. Perhaps we should just resign ourselves to Teddy holding the purse strings. We could open the house to tours to pay the bills,” he added with unusual wryness.
“You have a sense of humor. You should display it more often.” She pushed away, wiping at her eyes.
“I’ve not had much need of it until now. You give me hope I didn’t have before, which makes it easier to laugh at myself.” He offered his handkerchief.
She wiped her eyes and gave him a watery smile in return. “Hope is rather pleasant, isn’t it? Until it is dashed, of course. I so want to help you and your father. I really want to believe my gift isn’t useless. But nothing I’ve read has told me how to speak to spirits who insist on invading my head. Other people simply see or hear ghosts. None speak of being possessed. It’s excruciatingly unsettling.”
“And startling, which isn’t good for your health, understood.” He offered his arm. “Let me take you back to your room. You may speak with my sisters when you are ready. Until then, we will pretend all is well and go about our business as usual.”
“Easy to say,” she muttered darkly, feeling his tension as well as her own the instant she took his arm.
“Teddy tells me I must flatter your eyes, tell you they’re like the moon on a starlit night or some such flummery. Harry thinks I should talk of roses and archery.” He locked the suite behind them. “What topic must we discuss to be easy?”
Bell chuckled and wiped at her eye. “Which maid will you assign me? I rather like the one with the protruding teeth. She tells me all the gossip and does not complain about my short hair.”
“Fine then, you shall have Button. And then do we discuss the price of oats? I would woo you with words, if I knew the right ones.”
“You know full well you needn’t woo me at all. You’d need to heal me and make me not a Malcolm. I don’t think you’re omnipotent, however. So let us talk of how we might listen to ghosts and heal your father, since they seem to think that’s at least possible.”
Bell thought she’d just consented to marry him if she were whole. Since that wouldn’t happen, she didn’t worry about words said in the heat of the moment. Rainford had an entire family depending on his stability. She wouldn’t wish him harm.
She’d simply leave when the improbable proved impossible, as it always did.
Fifteen
