Page 53 of Enchantment of Silver and Sea
Abruptly, he sat up.
It happened so fast that it took me a second to open my eyes. I blinked at him as if waking from sleep.
His breaths were still coming hard and fast. His eyes were glazed but also looked strangely conflicted. They searched mine. For what, I wasn’t certain.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, not sure I wanted to hear the answer.
“No.” His voice was strained. “But I think this is a good place to stop.”
“To stop?” The words were a physical blow. “You want to stop?”
His jaw shifted, as though he were grinding his teeth. “No,” he said. He attempted to adjust the fabric of his shorts where it strained, but there seemed to be no give. He hissed as if in pain. “That’s the problem. I don’t want to stop. And you deserve a hell of a lot better than getting fucked thirty feet from camp after almost dying.”
I gaped at him. “And what exactly is the alternative? I mean, this is probably how it’s gone down with all the other women you’ve been with, right?”
“More or less.”
“But not with me?”
“Correct.”
Before I could respond, he stood and stalked away.
I stood, too, and watched him walk not toward where the others slept, but in the opposite direction. He cut across the mounds of sand toward the woods, away from the beach entirely. Still dazed, and now completely bewildered, I stared after him until he disappeared behind a cluster of dunes.
Everything that had faded away during the kiss now came back into focus. And the cool breeze carried away the remaining warmth that lingered on my body from his.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Our hike back to Ersa Estates was subdued. Even the sky was overcast, matching the mood. After the injuries that some in the group sustained, the loss of a man’s life, and the fact that the Strangers were walking away from it all empty-handed, nothing felt worth saying.
Which was probably for the best because my head was still a mess of ruminating thoughts. I had gone to sit on the beach in hopes that it would give me some clarity, but instead, the encounter with Kieran had only left me with more unanswered questions.
We walked in the same formation as we had the previous day. Which put me behind him, staring at his back as he walked.
After our kiss, I had crawled back into my sleeping bag, heart pounding. It was some time before I heard the shuffle of fabric a few sleeping bags away, letting me know that he had also returned.
What had he been doing? Why did he go into the woods alone? My mind kept running through the possibilities. ThenI considered his visible pain as he denied us something that I thought we both wanted. Suddenly, it seemed pretty clear what he had disappeared to do.
My feet were moving automatically as my imagination ran with that idea. Picturing how he must have looked, relieving that tension. The sounds he might have made. If he continued thinking of me during. The expression on his face when he finally found release.
An ache formed in me that was almost unbearable.
I blinked several times, then forced my gaze beyond Kieran to the trail ahead of us.
Regardless of what he had been doing, he had barely spoken to me that morning as we packed up camp. Now, as we hiked back through the forest, I wished he would say something. Even him poking fun at me or making a sarcastic comment would’ve been better than silence.
We arrived back at Ersa Estates while Nya’s roommate, Wren, and the other cooks were still dishing out breakfast. Eggs and jerky again.
Rubi was sitting at the edge of the circle of chairs, bouncing Filimena on her leg. The second she caught sight of us, she grabbed the baby and ran to Cecil. The two of them almost disappeared in Cecil’s giant hug. Then Xiomara joined them.
Nya had already agreed to take the difficult job to break the news to the family of the man who wasn’t coming home. She turned onto a side street before the cul-de-sac and headed toward a house where a woman and teenage girl were already waiting in the yard.
I averted my gaze and focused on the bonfire ahead. I knew what it was like to get that news, to know that someone you loved was never coming back. I tried to tune in to the conversations around the fire. Tried not to hear the piercing wail that carried from that yard.
The group continued to splinter off, including Kieran. Eventually it was just me.
I understood. After what was essentially a defeat, everyone needed some time with family. With friends. Alone, even. Their lives were here, and they couldn’t be expected to babysit me all hours of the day.
