Page 113 of When We Ignite
“Anyway, they saw me. Ash had a fit, yelled at me. But the next day, he calmed down and sat me down to talk about it. He explained everything. After that, it was like a switch flipped in my head. I started noticing I found men attractive too. I talked to Ash about it, and he walked me through it—the logistics, the feelings. Even though I wasn’t actually doing anything with anyone at the time, I knew I wanted to. I even told him when I kissed a guy for the first time.
“So, I guess to answer your question, Ash was the one who helped me come to terms with it. Weird as it might sound.”
“That is a little weird, but not unexpected,” I said, leaning back.
“After Mom died, Ash kind of turned into our parent. Support is all I’ve ever known from my brothers, but Ash and I...we’ve always had a different bond. I was used to confiding in him about everything, and eventually, that included all this. Somewhere along the way, he started confiding in me too. You probably know by now that Ash has certain preferences. It took him a lot to come to terms with those—like, to find his groove and actually ask for what he wanted. I’d like to think I helped with that too. No judgment.”
I blinked in surprise. “Maybe a little closer than I thought.”
Henry laughed again. “It’s not like I know the specifics. Some of it I just know because I know him—it’s sort of easy to tell. And, well, some of it I figured out...because I’ve slept with a guy he’s been with. That made it pretty obvious in the most awkward way imaginable.”
“Why?” I prodded.
Henry gave me an amused look. “I don’t want to scandalize you.”
“You say that, but your face is giving you away,” I said, finishing my drink as he laughed.
“Come on, E. You’re jealous. You don’t want to hear about it.”
“If you tell me, I’ll tell you something in return.”
Henry matched the smirk on my lips.
We got our drinks, and he held his glass up to mine. “Deal,” he said, clinking my glass. We both drank.
“We’re going to be drunk for that fitting. I’m calling it now,” he said with a grin. “Right, so—about two years ago, I met this guy. We hit it off, and I took him back to my apartment. Things were getting heated, and he let it slip that he knew Ash. Like,knew himknew him.”
I made a face. “Wasn’t that a turn-off?”
“I was a little drunk, and we were both naked in my bed. I was well past caring. Anyway, it gets worse. The sex wasn’t bad, just...incredibly out of sync. He kept expecting me to do something, and I had no idea what. Halfway through, I think he gave up. It got a little easier after that.
“When we were done, he told me he hadn’t expected me to be so sweet. Now, I don’t think I’m an asshole in that department, but I’ve definitely never been called sweet before. So, I asked him what he meant. That’s when he told me he was used to sex being a lot rougher with Ash. Like,a lotrougher. He said Ash liked tying him up, holding him down. It freaked me out at first, but he assured me it was all consensual.”
I blinked at him, stunned. “Wow.”
Henry chuckled but frowned at me. “Why are you surprised? You’re the one shacking up with him. Aren’t you into it, too?”
“Guess it’s my time to overshare.” I took another gulp of my drink. “We don’t actually do that.”
“What?” Henry asked, leaning closer, his face lighting up with excitement.
“He tried at first, but it kind of sucked for both of us. We’d end up fighting or getting frustrated because we couldn’t agree on...anything. But the last time we saw each other, he told me to forget about it. He said we should try something different. That...worked wonders,” I confessed.
Henry’s smile stretched into a wide grin. “You’re fucking kidding.”
“He’s also kind of weird about letting me participate, you know?”
Henry nodded emphatically. “Oh, I know. Chris kept expecting me to do everything. The guy couldn’t even manage a lousy hand job.”
“Ash kept shutting me down. Until last time—he finally caved. And it was...” I trailed off, catching Henry’s riveted expression. “Isn’t it weird?”
He chuckled, grabbing my vape and taking a drag. “I mean, conventionally, yeah, this is pretty fucking weird. But I’m used to it.”
“He didn’t want to finish. He just wanted me to,” I said quietly.
Henry leaned in closer. “Ash is such a fucking weirdo.”
I nodded. “I convinced him to let me, and...well, it was pretty great. I think,” I admitted.
