Page 115 of When We Ignite
“None taken,” I said softly.
“It’s not like it’s always that bad. That guy was a brute. I’ve never hurt anybody like that, and from what I’ve heard, the guys Ash has slept with only sing his praises. I’m guessing he’s great at it. You don’t have to worry about that,” Henry said, clearly trying to move past the topic. He swirled the last of his drink before draining it.
“It’s not about me, though. I’m just really sorry that happened to you,” I said quietly.
Henry waved a hand dismissively. “It was a while ago. I’m fine,” he said, but his eyes didn’t meet mine. He cleared his throat and forced a smile back onto his face. “So, you still haven’t given it up?”
I had no idea how to transition past what he’d just shared, but it seemed like this was what he needed from me right now.
“I thought he wanted to,” I began, “when he came over to my place after the bridal shower thing. But he keeps telling me he wants me to be ready for it.”
After what Henry had just told me, it made sense. Ash really wasn’t into hurting people.
“And you’re not ready?”
“It’s still scary. I mean—” I paused, taking a deep breath. “You’re not going to tell him, right?”
“If you don’t want me to, no. I won’t say a word. You can count on that,” Henry said earnestly.
“I really like him,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
I thought Henry would crack a joke, but instead, he just gave me a small, encouraging smile and waited for me to continue.
“I like him a lot more than I thought I could. And every time we’re together, it gets worse. I want him. He’s...incredible at everything he does. But I don’t want him to just check me off his list. I know prolonging it isn’t going to solve anything—he’ll get bored eventually—but I figure I’ll get to keep him a little longer this way.”
“E, you know he wouldn’t quit you if he didn’t have to, right? I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. Ash really likes you. You’re just in a fucked-up situation.”
“He could have anyone he wanted. Someone who actually knows how to play his game and enjoys it. All I’ve given him so far are headaches and blue balls, probably,” I said, half-laughing at myself.
Henry chuckled at that. “And yet, he’s still chasing after you.”
“Yeah, because he hasn’t gotten what he wants yet.”
Henry shook his head firmly. “Ash isn’t that basic, E. I told you—he’s not done with people after he sleeps with them. He doesn’t have this endless list of conquests, either. When Ash likes someone, he keeps them around. He’s not serious about just one person, but he doesn’t just toss people aside. I’m sure he doesn’t want to end things with you. He probably even asked you to stay friends.”
A little pang of hope flickered in my chest. “Because we have to stay in each other’s lives,” I argued.
“No, because that’s how he is. When Ash says he’ll wait for years to see if you want another go, he means it. He won’t close that door on you.”
I leaned back in my chair, studying Henry’s honest expression. “Why are you so nice to me?”
Henry’s smile grew, looking more like himself again. “I like you, Ethan.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I guess, out of all the things we’ve discussed, this might not be the most fucked-up thing you’ll hear today—but you remind me a lot of my best friend. You’re just like him when he was younger. Quick, observant, picking up on things as soon as they’re in the air. You’ve got a short fuse, you’re loyal to a fault, and you always need to know everything. You’re always trying to stay in control. You’re just like him, only without the pressure and the years of skepticism.”
“Your best friend?”
“You’re just like Ash,” Henry said.
My eyes widened.
“The more I get to know you, the more uncanny it is. I figured that’s why you two get along so well despite the age gap. You’re cut from the same cloth.”
“We’re not—” I started, shaking my head.
“I knew Ash when he was your age, Ethan. I know what I’m talking about. I’m not saying you’re the same person. Of course, you have differences. But you have a lot more in common than you realize. Ash is mesmerized by you, and you admire him. You even try to copy him in some ways. You both like how similar you are. He respects you because he understands you, and it’s the same for you—even if you haven’t realized it yet.”
