Page 146 of When We Ignite
“No. It felt good. Having you inside me felt really good. It just scared me.”
My cock stirred at his words.“That felt really good for me too.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. But it’s okay if you don’t want to do it again.”
“Can we go back to your bed? Sleep?” he asked, his voice barely audible.
“Of course,” I said, unwrapping myself from him and helping him up.
We climbed into bed, curling into each other.
As I held him, my thoughts churned. I was so far out of my comfort zone. I had no idea how to handle Ethan. He didn’t follow any rules, and he didn’t let me lead like I was supposed to.
For the second time that night, I thought about calling this off before it got messier.
Instead I held him tighter, burying my face in his hair, and let sleep take me.
For now, I’d just drink him in for a little longer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
ETHAN
Iwoke up before him, the soft rhythm of his breath warming my neck. At some point during the night, Sebastian had shifted lower, resting his face on the pillow beside me, his arms wrapped possessively around my waist. Moving carefully, I turned to face him. Morning sunlight filtered into the room, bathing him in a soft glow, and I allowed myself to take him in.
Freckles dotted his shoulders, just a light dusting over lean muscle. There weren’t any on his face as far as I could tell. His breathing remained steady, the rise and fall of his chest calm. I brushed my fingers through his hair, marveling at the details I’d overlooked before. The chocolate waves always looked slightly unruly in the mornings or after we spent hours kissing or fooling around. Subtle streaks of blond threaded through it, a hint of gold in the rich brown, catching in the light. Even his thick eyebrows and stubble carried those same faint highlights.
His nose was straight, perfectly proportioned, while his lips—fuller in sleep—pulled downward at the corners, softening his otherwise sharp features. He didn’t snore or make a sound beyond the faint exhale of his breath. Sebastian was, in every sense, devastatingly handsome, and the thought struck me with a weight I couldn’t ignore.
This man, lying so close to me, had been inside me last night. And I had wanted him there.
My stomach tightened at the memory. The attraction I felt for him was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I ran the tips of my fingers over the stubble on his cheek, trailing down to his lips. They were impossibly soft, a stark contrast to the roughness of the rest of him. When was the last time I’d felt this drawn to someone? I couldn’t remember. From the moment he first kissed me, something about him felt different. He ignited something deep within me, a fire I hadn’t even realized was there.
Sebastian made me question everything. Every kiss, every touch blurred the lines I thought I’d drawn for myself. I wasn’t sure if it was men in general or just him, but he had changed me in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Last night had been a revelation. Another man had shown interest in me, but it hadn’t stirred even a fraction of what Sebastian did. I thought about Christian, his confidence around Sebastian, the way he spoke about him like he wasn’t extraordinary, like he wasn’t the god that he was.
Christian had been with him for years. He told me so himself. Sebastian kept calling him back because he knew how to follow orders. That’s what he’d said. If I wanted to keep him, that was the secret: give him everything he wanted.
Christian’s words lingered in my mind:It’s strange because, even though you look like his type, you don’t act like it.His eyes had narrowed, his gaze appraising me.It’s like you’re a wild little Sebastian.He tilted his head, his smile sharp.If he’s into training you, I’d love to take you for a test drive, lamb. I think we could have a lot of fun together.
He had laughed, but I’d been too stunned to respond. It was the second time someone had drawn that parallel between Sebastian and me. I had no idea what to do with that.
Leaning down, I brushed my lips softly against his, careful not to wake him. Then I shifted away, shrugging off the robe I’d borrowed and sliding closer to him. His skin was warm against mine, and I sighed at the feeling. He made that soft humming noise again, instinctively pulling me tighter into his arms.
The memory of last night flooded my mind. Truthfully, I’d expected Sebastian pushing inside me to hurt. I had prepared myself for the discomfort, for the pain. But the opposite happened, and that freaked me out. The slide of his dick into me felt…perfect. A part of me hated how much I loved it.
Thinking about it now, my body reacted before I could stop it. I grew hard at the thought of him, the way he had moved, the care he had taken. I loved his roughness, but there was something irresistible about the tenderness he’d shown me. It wasn’t just sex—it was something more, something I wasn’t ready to put a name to.
The problem was, this was temporary. It was always meant to be temporary, and I knew I would never get over him. No one else would ever feel this good, would ever make me feel the way he did.
And I didn’t know how I was going to survive it.
My mind was clearer now. The haze of jealousy and rage had lifted, leaving me with one undeniable truth—I wanted him. I didn’t want to give up having sex with Sebastian, no matter the risks. Because as much as I knew this would ruin me for anyone else, I also knew I wanted it to behim.
If I didn’t have sex with Sebastian now, maybe I’d end up doing it with some other man eventually. Because as much as he was the only thing I could think about right now, it was a very real possibility that I could be attracted to another man someday. Sebastian had already broken me open—led me into a realm of possibility I hadn’t even known existed.
