Page 170 of When We Ignite
“Oli had just turned six, and Henny wasn’t even four,” I continued, my voice steady but thick with emotion. “They were so little. Our mother…she was a smoker, a drinker. She cursed constantly, but she was affectionate. She loved us unconditionally. After the funeral, all I could think about was how they would grow up without that. I swore to myself they would still feel loved. I’d protect them. I’d be more than just their older brother. They both slept in my room for years.”
Ethan dropped a small kiss on my jaw. “You were little too, you know.”
I nuzzled my nose into his temple, smiling faintly. “I know, pet. But they needed me more. They’ve always been my priority. And you’ve met our father—you know how he is. I had to protect them from that too. I don’t know if Henny ever mentioned it, but I didn’t want him to work for our company. Just like I didn’t want Oli to do it, either. My father…he’s like a cancer, getting under your skin and poisoning everything.”
I sighed deeply. “I know I shoulder some of the blame for what’s happened with Oli, but my father makes it so much worse. If this keeps going the way it is, I’m going to lose him. I should be trying to fix things, but every time the bullshit from work takes over, I lose sight of everything else. I lash out. Every time I see Oli’s disappointment in me, it just makes it worse.” The weight of my words settled heavily in my chest.
“Oli loves you, Ash,” Ethan said softly. “You’re not going to lose him.”
I clicked my tongue, my throat tightening. “The one thing he’s ever asked of me, and I didn’t keep my word.”
Ethan tensed against me. “I’m sorry, Ash.”
I wrapped my arms more securely around him. “It was my choice, darling. I’m a grown man.” I kissed his neck and whispered, “I couldn’t resist something that was just mine. You came when I needed you.”
Ethan’s knuckles brushed over my stubble as he tilted his head to look at me. “Do you know why my parents split up?”
“Oli told me your mom had an affair,” I said gently.
Ethan nodded against my chest. “I caught her,” he said, his voice steady but serious. “They were parked at a shopping mall. I walked past and saw them. I confronted her, and she begged me to lie until she was ready to tell my dad. But she didn’t. I couldn’t sleep for months. We had a fight because she wouldn’t end it, and I told him.” Ethan paused, his fingers still against mine. “My dad got angry with me. We had another fight, and then all hell broke loose. They didn’t split up right away, and the screaming matches were constant. Charlotte didn’t see most of it, and I never told her.”
I ran my fingers through his damp hair, brushing it away from his forehead. “How old were you?”
“Fifteen,” Ethan replied.
A fierce protectiveness surged through me, and I tightened my arm around him.
“I’m fine, Ash. I’m not telling you this for a pity party.”
I smiled at his resilience. “Go on.”
“Everything was a mess, and I hated that I’d gotten in the middle of it. So I made myself small. Never argued, never gave strong opinions, never got mad. I guess that’s what you call my Bennett politeness. I just…I never felt like I could be myself.” Ethan turned in the tub, facing me. His expression was open, raw, and vulnerable. “Until you.”
His words curled in my chest, warming me from the inside out.
“You came when I didn’t know I needed you,” he said softly. “And you didn’t like it when I was quiet.”
Everything clicked into place—the initial shyness that didn’t match his moods, his reluctance to make noise, the bursts of anger. It wasn’t age or immaturity; it was Ethan battling himself.
“You’re perfect, pet,” I said, cradling his cheek in my palm and stroking his smooth skin with my thumb. “I wouldn’t change a damn thing.”
Ethan covered my hand with his own. “You’re impossible to resist too. You’re not going to lose your brothers. They know what they have is too good to give up over a fight. There’s nothing like having you in our corner.”
I hummed softly, pulling him back into my arms. Ethan curled against my chest, his warm skin a comfort against mine. I blinked away the slight burn in my eyes, savoring the closeness.
That night, as he fell asleep in my arms, something shifted irrevocably.
Ethan was different.
I didn’t want to keep the wall between us—the one I’d built with everyone else. I didn’t know what would happen if I let it down, if I let myself truly feel with him.
I tightened my arm around his waist and kissed the side of his neck. He stirred, letting out a soft, contented sound that I committed to memory.
I guessed I was going to find out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
ASH
