Page 183 of When We Ignite
Sebastian pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “You know you don’t have to define it, right? You don’t need to put a label on yourself. You’re allowed to take your time.”
I rubbed my face against his chest, breathing in his familiar scent. “I told my dad I wasn’t gay.”
Sebastian tensed. “Why?”
“Because he was worried I had a crush on you.”
Sebastian pulled back slightly, meeting my eyes. His concern deepened. “Pet?—”
“I denied it,” I admitted, shame twisting in my gut. “And I feel fucking horrible about it. It’s obvious I do like being with you, and he looked so relieved when I lied.” My voice wavered, and the burning in my eyes turned to tears. “He’s going to hate it when he finds out. He’s not going to—” My voice cracked, and I stopped, shaking my head as I buried my face in my hands.
The tears came, hot and unrelenting, and I scoffed at myself. Why did I keep crying in front of him?
Sebastian wrapped his arms around me again, holding me tighter this time. “It’s okay, pet. I’m here. It’s okay,” he murmured.
“I fucking hated it,” I choked out, my grip on his shirt tightening. “I’m not ashamed of you, or us, but now I’m scared of him finding out. I don’t want him to ever find out.”
“I’m so sorry, darling,” Sebastian muttered, his tone thick with guilt.
I pushed back slightly, looking up at him. His face was pained, his eyes dark with remorse.
“This isn’t your fault,” I said firmly.
“I’m the one who pushed?—”
“You didn’t push me into fucking anything,” I cut him off sharply. “I wanted this. I wanted you. I love you. This whole thing has been the both of us. Not you.”
Anger surged in my voice, but it wasn’t directed at him. It was important—so fucking important—that he understood. This wasn’t some depravity, some manipulation. It was real.
Sebastian’s eyes softened. “Ethan?—”
“No,” I interrupted again. “You didn’t push me. Don’t ever think that. This is real, Ash. We’re real.”
A small smile broke through his features, and he used his thumbs to gently wipe the tears from my cheeks. “You’re tough as nails, pet. I love that about you.”
His words speared straight through me. I knew it started as a joke, but the way he said it now—pet—that particular endearment sounded so intimate, so full of meaning. And paired with the wordlove,even if it wasn’t in the context I wanted, it was still perfect.
“I like it when you call me that,” I admitted.
His smile grew, lighting up his face. “I thought you hated it.”
“I used to. But now…” I hesitated, glancing up at him. “It makes me feel like I’m yours.”
Sebastian’s arms tightened around me, pulling me closer. “Youaremine.”
My heart swelled at his words. “Am I?”
He nodded. “Just like I’m yours too.”
The rest of the world melted away as I looked up at him. “Mine?”
“As if you’d have it any other way,” he teased, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk.
His playful tone loosened something in my chest, and I let out a laugh. My fingers fidgeted with the collar of his shirt as I held his gaze. “So,” I began, testing the waters, “if Maya asked me where I was when I was with you, I could say, ‘I’m at my boyfriend’s’?”
Sebastian’s lips twitched as he rolled his eyes. He cupped my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing over my cheekbones. “I hate that fucking word,” he muttered, surprising a laugh out of me. Then his expression softened as he looked down at me. “But you get to say whatever you want. To me, you and me areus.And that’s all that matters. Nobody gets to tell you that what you feel is wrong. It’s none of their goddamn business. You want this? Youhavethis.”
Once again, he fanned the flames inside me. My chest tightened, my eyes burned, and I rose onto the balls of my feet, clutching at his shirt to pull him down. I kissed him, pouring every ounce of hurt and longing into the connection, redirecting all of it into the passion I felt for him—forus.
