Page 73 of When We Ignite
“These have always been the stakes,” he fired back.
“Oli asked me, Ethan.”
“He’s asked you before,” he countered, his voice rising.
“Not like this. It’s important to him, and he’s right about a lot of things.”
“Right about what?”
“I’m never going to give you a relationship. If that’s what you’re expecting, it’s not going to happen. I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want this to turn into a mess for Oli or your family.”
Ethan lifted his chin defiantly. “Why are you just assuming that’s what I want?”
“Darling, you asked me not to fuck around with anyone else,” I said, watching him close his eyes, his face tightening. “We text each other every day. You kissed me hello when you walked in. I’m not trying to humiliate you. I’m trying to be honest.”
“As if you discouraged any of that,” he shot back. “You text me, call me ‘darling,’ send me gifts, say you’ll always be there. You told me you had to have me. Was that all bullshit? Were you just going to fuck off as soon as you got what you wanted?”
His words struck harder than I expected. I stared at him for a moment, knowing the truth wouldn’t help. “Yes.”
“Bullshit. You’re lying.”
I pressed my lips together, my silence confirming what he already knew.
Ethan rose. “I should have stayed away from you,” he muttered.
“Can you please try to understand?” I asked, following him.
“I fucking understand. Of course I understand. I get that this is fucked up. That’s why my first instinct was to stay away. You’re the one who pushed and kissed me, turned my fucking life upside down, and now you’re telling me we have to stop. You said I can’t make up my mind—well, I guess that’s another thing we have in common, isn’t it?”
I stopped, realizing he was right. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”
“I’m not hurt. I’m pissed off.”
“I’m sorry for hurting you,” I repeated.
Ethan crossed his arms, his posture stiff as he turned away.
“Trust me, I thought this was going to work out differently. You’re right—I didn’t stop to think. I saw you and got tunnel vision. I really like you, Ethan, and not just because I’m extremely attracted to how you look—I really like you. If I’ve been sending you mixed signals, that’s why. I like talking to you, spending time with you, more than I have with anyone in a long time. But that doesn’t mean I’m an asshole to the others. I don’t just have sex with people and leave. That’s not how I operate. I’m friends with most, if not all, of the people I’ve slept with,” I explained, watching as his expression crumpled slightly. “You already know I value trust, and you can’t get that from a stranger. I’m sorry if that confused you, but my intention was always the same. This might have lasted more than a night, but it was always just about sex—not love.”
His shoulders sank as the weight of my words landed. “Is that your fine print?”
“Yes,” I admitted with a sigh.
His eyes scanned my face, searching for a lie. He wouldn’t find one. It was the truth. The honest, shitty truth.
“So that’s just it?” he asked, his voice quieter, almost resigned, as his gaze dropped to the floor.
“This is it,” I confirmed, my tone heavy with regret. “At least as far as sex is concerned. We’ll still be in each other’s lives. It’d be nice if we could be friends.”
“Friends?” he scoffed, his tone dripping with skepticism.
I chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood. “Cordial acquaintances?” I suggested, though his face didn’t soften. “You’re still my brother-in-law. We can’t exactly outrun this. Do you really want to stay pissed at me for as long as they shall live?”
After a long pause, he shrugged. “I’ll get over it, obviously. But it doesn’t mean I can’t stay pissed off for a while.”
I stepped closer, placing my hands on his shoulders. He didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry it worked out this way. If I could have it my way, I’d have you in my bed right now.”
“If you ever want us to be cordial acquaintances, you have to stop saying things like that,” he mumbled, his lips pressed into a frown.
