Page 82 of When We Ignite
“And?”
This time, I managed to keep my voice steady. “Get me out of my clothes.”
I could almost hear the crack in his resolve, his exhale sharp and deliberate. “And?” he pressed again, his tone darker now.
It was humiliating and exhilarating all at once, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him to change his mind. I took a deep breath and jumped. “And fuck me.” The words came out in a whisper, my face heating the second they left my lips.
Sebastian’s exhale was loud this time, almost a groan. “Is that what you want from me, darling?”
I smiled despite myself at the endearment. “Yes.”
The line went quiet again, the only sound the soft rhythm of his breathing. The silence stretched so long it felt unbearable.
“What are you thinking?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“That I shouldn’t have called,” he answered quickly.
My chest tightened. He wasn’t going to cave. “Ash?—”
“You know I don’t want to stay away from you, Ethan. I’ve told you why. This is important.”
Shit. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Every instinct told me to snap, to tell him off for calling, for making me say these words, but I held my tongue. It would be far easier for him to dismiss me if he thought I was being unreasonable.
So I took Henry’s advice.
“What if it were only for a little while?” I asked. “What if we set a time, an expiration date?”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ll get it out of our system—give it until the wedding, and then we’ll just be friends. It’s just a couple of months. No one has to know.”
He didn’t answer. Had I actually caught him off guard?
“I know what you’re offering, and I’m okay with it,” I continued. “It’s like when you asked me to kiss you last time, only for a little longer. Because it feels like we need to go on for a little longer. Don’t you need that too?” I pressed, holding my breath.
“Ethan,” he murmured, his voice noticeably unsteady this time.
“We already crossed a line. That’s done. So what’s the damage if we keep it up for longer?” I insisted. He just needed a push—I knew him now, knew what he wanted to hear. “I promise I’ll do what you ask me to,” I whispered.
I could almost see him, wide-eyed, listening to me on the other end.
Just one more push. “I’ll be good for you. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
Sebastian inhaled sharply. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. It’s not just about what I want.”
“I want it too. I want you. I wouldn’t be asking otherwise,” I said, my voice steady despite my racing pulse.
“You know what wanting me entails, don’t you? Are you sure about what you’re asking?”
I swallowed, knowing the price I was willing to pay to keep him. “I know you want to fuck me, Ash. You’ve made that abundantly clear. I know what I’m asking.”
“Where did shy Ethan go?”
I smiled faintly. “I think you broke him.”
Sebastian chuckled. “Fuck.”
He was thinking about it, considering it. The fact that he hadn’t flat-out refused me again was a good sign. I suddenly understood exactly how he felt waiting for me to reach out to him. The parallels between us were strange, our roles constantly shifting and blending into one another.
