Page 16 of Becoming Us
Getting the hang ofusagain wasn’t easy—no matter how badly I wanted it.
And now Atty wanted to talk.
In my experience, nothing good ever came from someone wanting to “talk” to me.
I drove in a near-panic state as I dropped Holly off and took Atty home. He’d asked me to come up to his apartment for the dreaded “talk.” I supposed that was better than being told to fuck off in the car. Not that I was convinced it’d be any nicer upstairs.
Atty held the door open for me. “I know this is breaking one of the rules, but…”
His place was smaller than his last, but in a better neighborhood, so it made sense. A compact kitchen opened into a modest living room, with a hallway leading to what I assumed were the bedrooms.
“Sorry about the mess—Ez is staying with us.” He nodded at the bags and scattered belongings, the chaos sticking out against Atty’s usual neatness.
“That’s fine. He’s staying on the couch?”
“In Col’s room.”
I arched a brow.
He chuckled as he crossed to the fridge. “Col’s at his parents’. I guess Ez will take the couch once he’s back.” He handed me a water bottle before dropping onto the couch.
I stayed rooted to the spot. “Well, if he needs a place, my house is available,” I offered, rolling the bottle between my palms but making no move to sit.
“That’s nice of you. I’ll ask him.” He gave me a small smile, but otherwise his face remained impassive.
“I thought he was moving back to Miami?”
Atty nodded. “That was the plan, but he landed a great internship here, so…”
We stared at each other for a beat too long.
“Are you going to sit?”
I gave the couch an accusatory glance before flopping onto it. I guessed it couldn’t be helped.
“So,” I said, inhaling deeply.
“So,” he echoed.
His gorgeous face had that slightly confused, slightly stunned look it got when things got awkward beyond reason.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted, unable to take it anymore.
Atty tilted his head. “What are you sorry for?”
“Whatever I did that made you want to have this talk. Was it saying I love you? Was that too much?”
“Well, yeah. That was it. But I don’t think it’s what you think.”
“Okay, then can you tell me? So I can stop freaking out?”
He nodded—but didn’t speak. He stared down at his hands, lips pressed together. I waited while he took a breath, his mouth twisting before he finally spoke.
“When you said it, it made me happy. Just like it always did.” That loosened the knot in my chest—until he added, “But now…”
“What now?”
He exhaled hard before meeting my gaze. “Now, I can’t stop remembering all the other stuff you used to say to me.”
