Page 206 of Becoming Us
Made me hate myself a little more.
I opened it and took a bump before hopping into the shower and letting the scalding water burn?—
Then numb me.
I sank to the floor and let it fall,
and fall,
and fall.
The next day, I dragged myself out of bed for the meeting with my academic advisor. I didn’t want to go, but if I was going to work things out, I needed to get school in order too. I’d beengoing to classes and turning things in as best I could, but there was still a big chunk I’d missed at the start.
I knocked on the office door and stepped in when a voice called me inside.
“Mr. Rossi, take a seat.”
“Hi.”
He was scrolling through his laptop, and my stomach twisted—just like it had the last time I’d been in an office like this.
“Your professor said you were hoping to earn some extra credit?”
“Yeah. I missed a lot at the start of the term. I just want to make up for it.”
His brows lifted as he scanned the screen. “More than a lot.”
My leg bounced under the desk. I bit the side of my thumb. “Yeah, I know. I’ve been trying to catch up.”
“Might be too late.”
My heart dropped. “What?”
“Your absences are irredeemable at this point,” he said. “I’d advise you to withdraw before the deadline. Talk to Student Affairs if you want to reapply next year.”
“I don’t understand. So that’s it? I just flunked out?”
“You missed the entire first half of the semester. This is the best I can offer you.”
A rock settled in my stomach—heavy and cold.
His eyes scanned my face, and his expression shifted into one of quiet sympathy, though it did nothing to shake off the fear settling into me. “Withdraw. See if you can reapply, then focus all of this energy into next semester.”
I nodded and stood. He turned back to his screen, and I closed the door quietly behind me.
So that was that.
I’d fucked up. Irrevocably.
I rushed out of the building and started walking back to the apartment.
Hey, Dad, guess what I accomplished today? Crossed one of the big five off the list. And you said I was too young for it.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
