Page 144 of Becoming Us
She hadn’t cared when she threw everything away without a second thought. No pause to consider what it might mean to me—how much it might hurt.
I stared at the papers. The deeds. The checks.
That’s mine.
Actually,it’s all mine.
I had stepped away from everything he asked me to do. I didn’t answer the lawyers or his accountants or anybody else. I left her in charge of everything—and this is what happened.
My dad’s words came to me then,You have to make the decisions. You have to protect her from herself.
Fuck that.
She doesn’t give a shit about me.
But this is mine. And I’ll be damned if I have to give a shit about her.
I stood slowly, my hands trembling at my sides as I faced her. “I’m canceling your credit cards.”
She blinked. “What?”
“I’m canceling your credit cards,” I said again. “I’ll have Richard set up a monthly allowance to your account. You can keep the debit card and pay for things with that. Anything else you want to get goes through me.”
“Noah, I’m your mother. Whatever your dad said you could do?—”
“It’s awfully convenient that you’re my mothernow,” I said, cutting her off.
She planted her hands on her hips. “What’s that supposed?—”
“It meansI’min charge. He left everything tome, not you. You don’t get to buy a penthouse and spend millions refurbishing it, tossing our entire lives out because you feel like it. You don’t get to erase him.”
“I’m not erasing him. We have to move on. Your father died, and I know you’re upset, but?—”
“Upset?” My voice broke through hers, louder now, harsher. “You think I’m justupsetthat my dad died? That’s what you think this is?”
I could feel it slipping, rage clawing at the inside of my chest, pushing against the dam walls I’d held up for months—years. My fists clenched. My breathing turned shallow. The walls started closing in.
She took a second to check her nails before giving a tired sigh, like I was being a nuisance for no reason. “Yes, clearly. You’ve always been terrible at managing your emotions.”
Done.
I was fucking done.
“You’re such a fucking bitch.” The words left me slowly, each one carrying its own release as they finally made it out.
Her eyes widened. “What did you just call me?”
“You heard me. I’m done treating you like my mother if you can’t fucking pretend to act like it. You think I’m selfish? Irresponsible? Who the fuck do you think I learned it from?”
“Noah, you calm down right now,” she snapped, nostrils flaring.
I was shaking, boiling over. “You’re a poor excuse for a mother. Not one fucking ounce of empathy in your entire body. And you know what? I’m done having it for you. You want to keep spending? Shopping? Getting your face done so you look less and less like yourself every year? Fine. Do it with your own fucking money. Because I’m not paying for it anymore. If you want more than I give you, get a job. Make yourself useful.”
Her eyes were rimmed red, but it wasn’t sadness that burned there.
It was rage.
Fine.
