Page 172 of Becoming Us
Carefully, I folded the paper and tucked it back into my pocket.
“I met the love of my life, Dad.” My voice softened. “He’s a good man—the best man in the world. And I think you would’ve loved him too. For me.”
A small breath escaped as I smiled through the ache in my chest. “He sees something in me—that same thing you used to. Something I’m still trying to see for myself. I wish you could’ve met him. I wish you were still around for this and for so many other things. And maybe I’ll never stop missing you…but that’s okay.”
My voice cracked, and I took a deep breath to steady it. “I’ll carry you with me. Always. Even if…this is goodbye.”
That word broke me. My face scrunched as I tried, uselessly, to hold the tears back. But they were already there, streaking my skin. So I gave in. Let the pain come.
The ache of his absence wrapped around me—his rough laughter, the way he’d dish out quiet wisdom, or just argue about my song choices. The shape of his hands, the coarse hair on his arms. The medallion now around my neck, how it used to rest against his chest. That old-man cologne that lingered after he left a room.
I sank to my haunches and pressed my forehead to the cold stone. My tears fell soundlessly into the grass, swallowed by the wind and the hush of the afternoon.
And then Atty was there.
His arms wrapped gently around me as he knelt behind me, holding me close. I shut my eyes and smiled through the tears.
See? I told you he was the best man.
I let myself fall back into his arms, and we sat together, my back pressed against him and his arms crossed over my chest, protecting me.
The lettering on the stone was beautiful. The whole place was. Quiet. Peaceful. A good place for him. Somewhere I could come back to if I ever needed it.
I leaned forward once more, pressing my hand to the stone. “Te amo, Papá,” I whispered, the words long overdue but finally spoken.
Goodbye.
I sat back, and Atty held me, my fingers clasped around the medallion over my heart. We stayed there for a while, in the same reverent silence, just breathing, just being—with him, and without him—until our limbs went numb and the afternoon began to settle around us like a second skin.
The pain was still there. But so was love.
And maybe that was enough for now.
The days were starting to grow short, and before we knew it, the sun had already begun to set. We returned to the hotel emotionally drained, the weight of the day clinging to our skin. Atty moved around the room, quietly tidying up, while I sat at the edge of the bed, watching him in silence. Wondering.
He folded our clothes neatly, tucking each piece into the closet, even though we only had one night left in Seattle. It wasn’t necessary, not really, but it was sohimthat it brought an easy smile to my lips.
“Atty,” I said, drawing his attention. His brows lifted, waiting. “What do you want?”
He looked at me for a beat, then asked, “Right now?”
I shook my head. “Like, from life. What do you want?”
His eyes drifted from mine, scanning the space between us, then he shrugged. “That’s a very open-ended question. Want to narrow it down?”
I slumped onto my back, legs still dangling off the side of the bed. “Volleyball,” I settled on.
The mattress shifted as he joined me, propping himself up on his elbow. “I’m going to play this year, but I’ll probably stop after college. I don’t think I’ll go pro.”
“Really?” I paused, letting that settle. That surprised me.
He nodded. “I’d still want it to be part of my life—maybe coach, or play for fun. But after college, I want to focus on work. Get a good internship. Find a job I actually enjoy. That kind of thing.”
“That makes sense. Responsible.”
Atty rolled his eyes playfully, making me smile.
“Where are you planning on doing all of that? In LA?”
