Page 174 of Becoming Us
I stared at him, completely at a loss for words, stunned at how easily he’d read my fears.
“You feel everything so much, and I know you think that’s your weakness, but it’s not. It’s the opposite. Being loved by you feels…all-consuming. Limitless. There’s nothing like it. That’s why I could never really let you go. And I can only imagine how much bigger that love will grow when you have kids. They’ll be so lucky to have you.”
My heart couldn’t fucking take it. It was the best kind of pain I’d ever felt—gripping me, anchoring me there. I loved him so much.
“Lucky to haveus.Ourkids,” I corrected, because it just couldn’t be any other way.
He nodded, resting his forehead against mine. “Ours.”
Helovedme. He lovedme. Actually loved me—not the version I had once tried to curate, not the filtered version I thought people could tolerate—but me. The real me. He’d seen it all yesterday and still loved me. He’d stood beside me today and still loved me.Atticus King loved me.
I was going to give him everything.
Looping my arms around his neck, I pulled him closer. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Atty. Every second. I’ll do everything I can to make you happy—every day. I’ll take you everywhere. We’ll see it all together. Every court you’ve wantedto visit or play on, every beach you’ve wanted to swim at, every mountain you’ve ever dreamed of skiing. All of it. Together,” I whispered against his temple.
He huffed a laugh against my neck. “I thought you weren’t going to propose tonight.”
“I’m not. I just want you to have the world. I want to give it to you.”
“I love you, too, Noah.”
I tightened my hold on him, needing him impossibly closer.
“I’ve never seen snow,” he said, voice quiet and a little shy. “That’d be nice.”
I pulled back, cupping his face in both hands. “What?”
“I’ve never been anywhere else but Florida and LA. And I guess now here. But it doesn’t snow there.”
“What about Christmas?”
He blinked. “It doesn’t snow for Christmas either.”
“Atty, we have to go somewhere with snow for Christmas! We’ll go with your mom if you want—but it’s a must.A must, Atty!” I shoved him back, jumped off the bed, and started looking for my phone.
Atty chuckled. “What are you doing?”
“Booking tickets! Let’s pick a place. You, me, and your mom. I didn’t get a white Christmas for years either—it’s upside down in Argentina, so it snows in June. But when I finally did? Oh my god, Atty. Youdon’tknow what you’re missing. It’s a whole vibe.”
“Your phone’s on the bedside table,” he said, pointing.
“Perfect. Snowy Christmas is going to rock your world. We could go somewhere to ski and knock two things off the list.”
I grabbed my phone and unlocked it—then froze.
Three missed calls from my mother. And a text from Ilana.
Lan
hey
I know you’re busy with Atticus, but would you want to meet up for dinner?
or before that, if you two have plans?
I really need to talk to you, and I think it should be face-to-face
Shit.
