Page 80 of Her Beast of a Duke
“Oscar,” she said urgently. “Oscar.”
“Please,” he moaned. “He needs—he needs?—”
Sleep took him back under before he finished his plea, but he jerked his head, his arms coming up to grasp somebody who was long gone. His distress continued, and Isabella was helpless, but when he began to shout again, wordless yells of desperation, she finally did push her hand against his shoulder.
Before he could react, she had one of his hands in her own, and the other on his sweat-slicked face, holding him.
“I am here,” she told him as his eyes flew open. “You are here with me, Oscar, and you are safe.”
She stroked his face, carding through his dark hair. Her fingers ran over his thick beard, raking through the soft hair, bringing him back to her as the vacancy in his eyes cleared. His body trembled, and sweat coated his chest and neck.
“You are here with me,” she repeated softly.
Finally, his eyes met hers, and his labored breathing evened out with some difficulty.
“Isabella?” he croaked out.
She kissed his damp forehead gently. “If I am being too much, do tell me. Do you need me to leave?”
After a long moment, when she prepared herself for him to sayyes, he shook his head.
Slowly, his muscles relaxed, and he sighed, slumping back into the pillow where he half raised himself as if to check he was indeed in his chambers and not a battlefield.
“I… I am used to them.” His free hand swept over his face, rubbing his eyes. “I recovered quickly enough by now, but I… I do not like that you have had to see the evidence of them.”
Isabella lay back down, tucking herself into his side as she continued to comfort him with grounding touches.
“Your shadows may be dark, Oscar, but there is nothing deep or dark enough for me to get lost in. I can handle everything that you are. My concern is only for you.”
He made a low, almost pained noise as he wrapped his arms around her tightly, as if he needed her as a tether more than anything. His face pressed into her neck, and he breathed her in, shuddering out a breath.
“Thank you for not leaving,” he said. It was so quiet she almost thought she had imagined it. “For so long, I have feared chasing you away with everything I am. Every horrid, ugly part that I cannot get rid of.”
“As I have told you,” she whispered, “I am not afraid of you.I am not afraid of you, nor of your past. And when you are ready, you may speak to me about any of it.”
He let out another shaky sigh as he nodded.
She waited for him to say something else, but in moments, his breath had evened out back into slumber. She wondered how much the nightmares exhausted him to drag him back into them.
Please,she thought, thinking of any force that could help,let him sleep peacefully this time. Let him rest.
Let him forget, if just for the rest of the night.
Later that morning, after Oscar had remained asleep without nightmares, the two of them walked Morris down one of thecountry lanes around Rochdale, finding a stall along the way that sold meat and fresh produce.
Without hesitation, Oscar bought a hunk of meat, forgoing the brown paper it was offered to be wrapped in, and immediately tossed it to Morris.
Morris chased after it, where he had thrown it further down the road, and Isabella laughed as the dog growled into his new treasure, tearing off strip after strip.
As they headed back toward Rochdale Castle, Oscar finally let their brushing hands link.
“You offered this morning for me to speak about my time in the war, and what causes my nightmares,” he said quietly, “and I think I am ready. Having you there through the night was a risk, and it was not as disastrous as I had always worried it would be. You did not run, you did not leave, nor shy away or look at me as though I was a monster.”
“I could never,” she affirmed. “All I have ever wanted is to know you.”
“I think I am ready to tell you. At least a bit more. When we return, I will take you to the northern turret myself.”
Isabella didn’t know what to say, not after his last reaction to finding her in there without permission. But he was doing as shehad posed the evening before: the two of them were unlocking those doors together, and she could not ask for more.
