Page 44 of Tutoring the Bad Boy
“Oh yeah?” I know all about the tension between Kaleb and his dad. “How did that go? Are things better?”
“You know… ” Kaleb looks off into the distance, and his face softens. “I’ve been looking at us through the eyes of a kid who misses his mom. Never once did I stop to wonder what it was like for my dad to lose his wife.” His gaze returns to mine. “He loved her too. She abandoned us both.”
I find myself a little jealous. When was the last time my mom and I had a real talk? Long enough that I can’t remember anymore. “I guess you were both trying to deal with it, huh?”
“That’s what hit me this morning.” His voice grows soft. “I’ve been blaming him for this whole thing, but it wasn’t him telling me he didn’t want me. It was my mom.”
“Your mom?”
“Right after she left, she called me. I begged her to let me come stay with her, and she flat-out refused. She said it was better that I stay with my dad because she needed to work on her relationship with the coach.” There’s a sadness in his eyes that breaks my heart.
My dad just split. I can’t imagine how it would feel to love him and him not want me. I move around the table and sit next to Kaleb, placing my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry…I mean, I’m not sorry for you. I’m sorry you hurt so much.”
Kaleb pulls away from me, gets up from the bench, and sits on the table. He rests his feet on the bench and his elbows on his knees. The move stings a little, but there’s a vulnerability in it. I’ve seen a tiny section of his heart, and it scares him.
As he looks down at me, his hair gently moves in the wind. I’d really like to know what those locks feel like.
“It’s fine.” His words say that, but his voice is thick, and I can feel the emotion in it. He’s far from fine. “Do you remember that time in fifth grade?” he asks, clearly signaling that he’s shared enough.
I cock my head and think about it. “There were a lot oftimesin fifth grade. What are you referring to?” I know what incident he’s talking about—the bully—but I want to know if he remembers which one I’m thinking of.
He shoots me a lopsided grin. “The time that kid was bullying you?”
I’m suddenly transported like one of those flashbacks in a movie. I remember standing at the water fountain and this big kid had overheard that my mom was going to be the principal. He’d knocked my books out of my hand and pushed me down.
I snap out of my memory to reply. “Yeah.” I pushed that memory far away that first day of school, and when Kaleb and I parted ways in eighth grade, I’d buried it.
“You were on the verge of tears because he was being mean. Then what happened?”
The memory floods again. I must have totally blocked this out of my mind. “You punched him in the jaw.”
Kaleb cleared his throat. “You remember that?”
“Yeah, he started crying.” Boy, I felt a lot of satisfaction in that moment, but also kinda bad for him.
A satisfied smile comes to Kaleb’s lips. “Yeah. The principal wanted you to tell on him, but it was your first week here. I couldn’t let you. You…”
Came to my rescue. The feelings I had for him that day return with lightening speed. I remember loving Kaleb. It’s a kid sort of love, but at the time, it sure felt super real. “You swooped in and rescued me.”
“Yeah.” Kaleb nods, and his grin widens. “I gotta say, it’s my favorite memory from fifth grade. I got in a lot of trouble at home. But this morning, my dad said he’d been proud of me.”
“I felt bad for not saying anything.” Boy, I felt so ashamed, but back then it was every girl for herself, and I was the new kid. I just didn’t have the courage to say anything back then.
“I told you not to say anything.” He pauses. “Besides, I got a friend out of it.” His gaze captures mine, and more memories flood into my mind. All our times talking during lunch. We weren’t inseparable, but we were good friends. Until this moment, I didn’t realize just how much I’d missed those times too. “Eight grade kind of went haywire.”
I don’t know if I’m treading through deep waters or not. But part of me really wants to know all the things I’ve missed. “So, the stuff with your mom…changed you?”
Kaleb sits quietly a moment, and I almost apologize before he says, “Yeah. At first she made it seem like everything would be fine, but it wasn’t. When she said she didn’t want me, it was like something snapped. I thought it was my dad’s fault all of it happened, and I took it out on him. Add to that him pressuring me to be a lawyer…it turned hostile, and it’s been that way ever since.”
“I’m sorry.”
The second the two words leave my mouth, there’s a shift in the mood. Whatever tender moment we were having is gone. I suspect he’s got a lot of things going through his mind and he can only process so much. In an instant, that familiar Kaleb exterior returns, and he pulls his hair out of his eyes.
The bell rings, signifying that lunch is over, and Kaleb stands just as a group of football players pass by. He nods his head in a greeting, and they return it.
“I gotta bolt. History class.” Kaleb’s face contorts in disgust.
Nodding, I put on my tutor hat and say, “Take notes and keep away from your phone.”
